Fashion Police – Part The Second
Josh Beckett, we have to talk.
We let it go when you groomed your facial hair like a weird topiary- because we certainly can’t get on to you for that with Papi and Delcarmen and Youkilis running around the clubhouse. We didn’t say anything about the proliferation of random necklaces you pile around your neck- even though one of them is most certainly made of hemp, and therefore just a half step up the lame ladder from a puka shell necklace. We even learned to embrace those silver sunglasses you sport, day and night, because we figured they must be like a security blanket for you (why else would you have them clipped to the front of your shirt for every single postgame press conference… which all take place after dark?).
But so help me god, Joshua Patrick- if this is some kind of SLAP BRACELET you are wearing now, even if the salesguy at Armani told you it was a “cuff bracelet” and “all the rage” and “super hip”… we are going to have to stage a fashion intervention.
Don’t try and distract me with your broad chest and massive guns, Josh. Don’t try to woo me with that “What Would Waylon Do?” shirt (you know I am a sucker for classic outlaw country, as all good Texans are). If that is indeed a slap bracelet, you have gone TOO FAR.
//Don’t try and distract me with your broad chest and massive guns, Josh.//
Good Lord, Texas Gal, are you TRYING to induce a heart-attack in me??!!! It’s something I’ve always known and *heart*, but I struggle to suppress it everyday, otherwise, I would just get nothing done in life!
That being said, you’re right about Beckett’s accessories. They are getting more and more ridiculous (though, I totally love the bling watch he’s got). You think that having a girlfriend would cause him to accessorize a little better. You may have to stage the intervention with her!
Though, if and when the Sox win the World Series this year, we could always let loose the Queer Eye boys on him, a la 2004 …
This post? Hilarious.
I think I’ve figured out the sunglass thing. He wears them to the park in the morning when it’s sunny out, and keeps them clipped to his shirt at night so he doesn’t lose them or sit on them or have them get stolen by Papelbon. Not so strange to me, but then, I have a cousin who does the same thing with his shades, so maybe it’s just me.
The jewelry is still a mystery though. Does he ever take that hemp necklace off? You’d think it would’ve worn out by now…maybe he has a whole collection of identical ones and replaces it as needed.
Mouse – he does have a stack of those hemp necklaces, because there was one game where Jerry Remy thanked Beckett on the air for a lucky necklace. He said that Josh pulled one out of a stack that he has in his locker and gave it to him. Leave it to Beckett to buy the hemp necklaces in bulk!
I LOVE SLAP BRACELETS….oh. Oh, I see your point.
I thought that was the Okajima “candy cane” necklace Remy was talking about that time?
The bulk explanation is much funnier, though. MUCH.
I don’t know what made me laugh harder – this post, or the thought of Joshie buying hemp necklaces by the bulk. Best thing ever.
As for the “broad chest and massive guns,” I shall not comment for fear that anymore thought given to the matter shall cause me to have a heart-attack, and therefore, not allow me to finish this comment. =D
Bracelet, what bracelet? I’m too busy looking at the guns, the shoulders and the chest. The bracelet could be pink w/ purple polka dots and I wouldn’t give a crap. LOL
But..since we are talking about it…I think it’s actually leather. At least that’s what it looks like to me.
His accesories and wardrobe don’t bother me much. At least he’s not doing the jig in his jock in the middle of Fenway Park. LMAO!! Oh wait, maybe I meant too bad he wasn’t doing the jig in his jock in the middle of Fenway park. :)
i can’t think about josh anymore because of comments made in a florida newspaper. something about his girlfriend and the size of a certain appendage, which he was quite proud to brag about lmao….
You mean these comments? Heh.
yeah lol….its still making me laugh…goodluck w/the rockies its going to be a good series…
you are way too funny. don’t distract me with your massive guns…very true. very distracting
where does Beckett get those hemp necklaces?