Dear Sweet, Tiny, Baby Baseball Jesus
Dear eight pound, six ounce, newborn baby (Baseball) Jesus, don’t even know a word yet, just a little infant, so cuddly, but still omnipotent-
I know I’m not really in a position to be asking for anything from you right now, Baseball Jesus. I know all three of my favorite teams made the playoffs this year (and for the Phillies and the Cubs? that’s basically a miracle). I know the Red Sox won it all, and I was there at the World Series in Colorado to see them do it. I know we re-signed Curt Schilling, and we’re jettisoning Eric Gagne, and I know we’ve all been bugging you night and day about Mike Lowell and Mike Timlin- so you’re sick of listening.
But, tiny (Baseball) Jesus, in your golden fleece diapers with your tiny, little fat balled up fists- when I read something like this, it makes me think that maybe – just maybe – this is possible in Boston:
And dear Lord baby (Baseball) Jesus, lying there in your little ghost manger, lookin’ at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin’ about shapes and colors… that would be so freakin’ amazing, I do not even have the words. The Texan model late reliever would be a massively huge improvement over that broke-ass Canadian busted model. And you know how I heart the Cubs, but if there’s even a SLIVER OF A CHANCE OF A POSSIBILITY that we could unite the two flame-throwing Texas gunslingers on the same ballclub? Baseball Jesus, you gotta help make that happen.
Brought to you by the same state that produced
pitchers Nolan Ryan and Roger Clemens and Greg Maddux
and John Lackey and Huston Street and Scott Kazmir and Chris Young
(oh, and Clay Buchholz and Mike Timlin and Kyle Snyder)
With apologies to Ricky Bobby for lifting his shtick.
This is SOOO funny-this blog is awesome.
speaking of beckett…i was snooping through facebook today and i found a picture of beckett wearing a bluetooth earpiece for his cell…his manliness factor just went down 5 notches in my book : LINK
If the Sox very thorough testing can keep his arm healthy, then I’m all for it. He took a paycut to stay with the Cubs because he felt he owed them for all the time he’d spent on the DL…more players need to be like that:-D
What does using a bluetooth have to do with manliness?? LOL Down 5 notches for that?? Wow, you’re tough. LOL Josh could wear a yellow shirt with pink polka dots and still be more manly than 98% of the men around him.
Sorry for the double comment, don’t know what happened! I think Josh likes little electronic stuff. In the Sox All-Star plane pics, he’s got a laptop, a portable DVD player, an iPod and high-tech looking headphones sitting in front of him, and he had a blue-tooth thing in one of the cookie-off videos. As long as he continues to pitch well, he can have whatevergadgets he wants:-P
I took care of that duplicate for you, Meg.
And I agree- Kerry Wood is good people, that’s why I adore him so much. He’s a good Texas boy.
Useful site. Thanks:-)