Is Beckett Boot Camp Doomed?
Shocking revelation in today’s Boston Globe, which is almost a throwaway line in an article about Clay Buchholz’s conditioning and training this offseason:
Buchholz has spent time working out at Athletes’ Performance in Pensacola, Fla., where he’ll return after this week’s trip to Boston to meet with Red Sox staff. He also is scheduled to come north for the rookie development program in January in Boston. Buchholz may not head to Texas to train with Josh Beckett, as had been discussed.
Does this mean that Beckett Boot Camp – where the tough-talking, hard-drinking, oft-cussing Josh Beckett whips the young’ens Buchholz and Jon Lester into shape out in the wilds of Josh’s Texas ranch – might not happen after all?
No pre-dawn deer hunting expeditions, wherein sometimes Josh ropes a set of antlers to Clay’s head and lets Jon shoot at him with an air rifle?
No bonfires that burn late at night, around which Josh kicks back in a nice comfy deck chair, but makes Jon and Clay sit on the wet ground and cook him s’mores on command?
No steer wrestling lessons out in the pastures, which are sometimes blindfolded steer wrestling sessions because “that old dude on Star Wars did the same thing to Luke Skywalker”?
No mandatory keg stand sessions, where Clay holds Jon upside down for hours on end so he can chug the exact amount of Bud Light required by Beermaster Beckett?
No games of “dodgeball” – which consist of Josh hollering at Clay and Jon to “haul ass” while he tries to peg them with 98 mph fastballs?
This is a travesty in the making.
Josh is picturing what these antlers will look like strapped to Clay’s head.
I have to tell you, Beckett Boot Camp? With the whipping and wrestling and demeaning and whatnot? Sounds kinda gay.
I would be a part of that whipping and wrestling in a heartbeat!!! HAHAHA!!!
I figured it wasn’t a “for-real” thing. I figured it was just a story.
I was really hoping that this was going to happen so we could hear some funny stories during our abbreviated spring training.
Sigh. Clare. Must you always hate on Beckett? Wait, don’t answer that.
You know what sounds kinda gay? THIS. So there!
Tis’ a sad, sad day for the Red Sox. Maybe they realized that Beckett’s offseason routine, while it obviously works for him, wasn’t the best thing to pass on to the youngsters. And with Schill back, he can be be the “responsible” teacher. Sigh.
Or maybe it was all just an idea of Steinberg’s, with plans of actually making it into a reality show. And now that he’s gone, the FO has to go and ruin everyone’s fun:-( They could still do an elimination-style one at ST with the invitees that may or may not make the 40 man, with have weird challenges and all that shit:-D
Mel, believe me I said as much! But I have to tell you, you haven’t lived until you’ve seen the Phanatic do a dead-on Naomi Campbell stomp-walk down the runway. It was uncanny.
I hope I just closed that open tag…oops.
*sigh*No tales from Beckett Boot Camp?!? *sigh, sigh*
Oh boo. I was looking forward to the stories that would come out of that. :(
Bummer! That had the potential to be so great. Your description was awesome. I’ve been picturing it as the bastard child of an ashram and a forced labour camp…
:[
I do like the image of Beckett with s’mores. And I like those Phillies uniforms!
I am officially photoshopping Clay’s head onto that animal carcass.
Nothing personal, Clay.
Please ignore the anatomical weirdnesses that are Josh’s foot and butt. I had to take out the carcass and make them by hand. =/
Oh I do love Fridays.
That is brilliant, Liza.