PETA Wants Clemens On The Phillies
Roger may be embroiled in the biggest scandal to hit baseball since, well, the last steroids scandal – but People for the Ethical Treament of Animals (PETA) has come up with solutions to all that ails him: go vegetarian… and sign with the Phillies.
Dan Shannon, Assistant Director of PETA and avid Red Sox fan, fired off a letter to Clemens yesterday suggesting that he look into switching to an all-vegetarian diet. And in a rather un-PETA-like move (made even more surprising because the author is a Sox fan and the recipient is, well, Clemens), the letter is relatively light-hearted– and also manages to get in jabs at Ken Griffey Jr. and Cubs fans.
Some excerpts:
On behalf of PETA, I’m writing to offer a suggestion that may help you fend off all the critics that are descending on you like a pack of Cubs fans going after a vendor’s last beer. To prove that you don’t want any nasty growth-promoting drugs in your body, go vegetarian.[A] chicken or a pig drugged by the meat industry suffers more injuries than Ken Griffey Jr.
And if you ditch all the cholesterol and saturated fat in meat now, you’ll be less likely to keel over from a stroke when testifying in front of Congress.
He’s totally thinking about how much he loves veggie burgers
But PETA isn’t just concerned about Roger and the steroids issue he finds himself embroiled in- they’re also concerned about the future of his career:
And while you are pondering your next career move, may I recommend that if you do play next season, you sign with the Phillies? Citizens Bank Park has the best vegetarian food of any ballpark
I am sure the city of Brotherly Love would welcome Clemens into the Phillies fold with open arms.
As your resident Phillies phan, let me be the first to say…no thank you, Roger.
i’m sure roger appreciated that unsolicited commentary on his personal lifestyle choices at this particular point in time.
i know i would.
Even when the jabs are suppose to be at Rog, Griffey can’t catch a break.
If Roger went veggie that would mean I’d have something else in common with him. As if sharing a birthday wasn’t enough…
Eh…haha? I hate PETA. This did make me imagine a 25 year old Sox-Clemens throwing tomatoes at people wearing fur and leaving them with huge welts, which I thought would be kind of ammusing.
Yah, I’m in Philly and Roger can feel free to come to the park anytime. We’ll have the “I Injected Roger’s Wife (in the butt)” signs at the ready. It is unfortunate PETA had to take a swipe at Griffey though. Especially since when Jr. read about it, he suffered serious eye strain and was moved to the 60 day DL.