Fashion Police: White House
It’s all very exciting that the Red Sox visited the White House yesterday- but all I really want to know is… what were the guys wearing? Let’s have our very own red carpet fashion police, shall we?
Kicking it off with the men who made the Best Dressed List…
First up: Daisuke Matsuzaka, in a classic-cut black suit, with crisp white shirt and black tie. Love the lapels. The suit is so sharp, it could almost double for a formal suit (verging on tux). How very James Bond of him. It’s even sharp enough to distract from his Sonic the Hedgehog hair.
Jacoby Ellsbury, stylin’ in charcoal pinstripes and a slick gold tie. Even the sunglasses look smart. Our little rookie done growned up so fast! He does, however, need to invest in a backpack or bag of some kind — don’t the Red Sox give their rookies at least a duffel? And someone get him a case for his toiletries, so he can stop carrying them around in a plastic bag. I think that’s Kiehl’s I spy- how very metro of you, Jacoby.
Jacoby’s pinstriped doppelganger, Josh Beckett, also finished high on the Best Dressed List. Josh rocked it out with charcoal pinstripes (I’m sensing a theme here), and with the cojones to wear a bold striped tie to boot. Bonus points for the belt- although: BUTTON UP YOUR JACKET, Josh. I know you’re proud of your snazzy belt buckle, but you’re meeting the President– not lounging at Pure.
Except for the 6 inch height differential, they look like brothers. Or hit men. At least when they’re wearing the same suit. I’m betting girlfriends Kelsey and Whitney shop at the same store for them.
More of the good, the bad and the ugly after the jump…
Light blue ties were the accessory du jour – Dougie Fresh Mirabelli, Tito Francona, Kevin Cash, Jason Varitek, Hideki Okajima and Mike Lowell were all sporting baby blue. Jason’s subtly patterned tie gets bonus points, as does Kevin’s stripes-on-stripes combo.
Two that went the extra mile? David Ortiz and Jonathan Papelbon. Big Papi’s ensemble was safe, but classy – and he added the extra special touch of a pocket square (which I always appreciate). But is that a MAN PURSE he’s carrying? Papi, just say no. Unless it’s Kate Spade- then by all means, carry on.
Jonathan Papelbon… let’s just call him Professor Plum. Lavender shirt, purple tie, charcoal pinstripes– and he also sported a purple pocket square. Even with the Incredibles hair, it all works very nicely — and note, Jacoby… he’s got a bag to carry his stuff in. And not a purse, PAPI. (Also, clearly Ashley Papelbon shops at the same store as Kelsey and Whitney. Three-for-one sale on charcoal pinstripe suits!)
I am on the fence with Curt Schilling – I love that pale minty green tie, but the heavy pleats on the pants are not a fashionable choice. Also, I’d wager he’s had that suit for at least 10 years, maybe longer. Nice kicks, though.
Brandon Moss went risky – royal, almost electric, blue shirt and white tie… but I think it works. Not everyone can carry off a white tie-colored shirt combo. Plus, I’m sure the blue made his eyes look divine.
A risk that did not pay off? Alex Cora. I like the tie- the pattern is nice, the dusty gold is pretty enough. And although that is possibly the most drab shade of blue suit jacket ever, it’s not totally horrible. But wearing a suit jacket AND pants in that shade of drab blue? With that tie? No. Just… no. Wearing the jacket with a pair of khaki pants to a business casual event, maybe. But in that getup, he looks kind of Easter egg-y.
Mike Timlin: give Josh Beckett back his fugly silver sunglasses. They’re doing you no favors. Kevin Youkilis isn’t laughing at the President’s jokes, he’s laughing at those sunglasses. We’re all laughing at those sunglasses. The red tie is nice, though.
Don’t try to flee the scene, Kyle Snyder – I see you. I know it must be super hard to find a suit that’ll fit your extra-tall body… but don’t just sew sleeves and some shoulder pads on a potato sack and call it a day, OK? Especially don’t wear that potato sack jacket with mismatched pants. You’re too good for that.
Worst dressed of the day, hands down… Bobby Kielty. I’m inclined to cut him more than a little slack, because he and his wife just had a baby and I’m sure things are all very hectic for him. I am assuming this is the reason why he borrowed his dad’s old cream sportcoat from 1972. Because I can’t think of any other logical explanation for this.
Maybe it gets better from further away…
Nope. It looks worse.
Because now I can see what looks like a peach (!) bowling shirt underneath, with an odd stripey pattern, and hideous brown slacks that neither match the jacket nor the tie nor the shirt. HE LOOKS LIKE A SHOP TEACHER. FROM 1972. The only promising things? He’s wearing square-toed kicks (very cool), and I’m assuming his poor wife will beat him about the head when she sees these photographs… and then burn the jacket. And pants. And shirt. And tie.
Great post..as usual!
What a great way to start my day!!!!!
Even 147 8th graders can’t bring me down today!!!
Our team cleans up nice. Except that Curt Schilling has maybe never looked more like my dad than he does in that picture. Which is messing with my head.
/goes to look at pretty, pretty Jacoby some more
I knew Kielty’s outfit was bad when my *husband* commented on it. LOL. Curt does look like he lost weight.
Love Pap’s “Incredibles” hair–that’s funny.
The one thing that stuck out to me…is Becket smoking?
I finally realised what the pic of Josh and Jacoby reminded me of: Reservoir Dogs. They totally had a discussion about Madonna on the plane.
LOL Jacoby puts his toiletries in a ziploc too! He’s just like us!
Cora looks like he’s going to the prom. Curt’s last wore that suit as best man in his nephew’s wedding. Kyle Snyder was just trying on his dad’s clothes and decided to go with it (it reminds me of when my nephew gets into MY dad’s closet). Dougie Fresh hit the tanning salon first. The Tek is trying out his “secret service” look. Papi – very nice but what the hell is with the comb-back hair! its very…Pedro Martinez circa 2003. and no one wants to go back to it. otherwise, you just look like a pimp, GET A HAIRCUT!
oh, Bobby. with that big poof of red hair, it’s hard for him nOT to look like Ronald McDonald no matter what he wears…he needs clown shoes to complete the look.
Jacoby: Alright, listen, I took out $300 but I’m only betting with $200, I can’t afford any more than that, alright? And I figure if we buy a lot of chips though, the pit boss will see us, he’ll comp us all sorts of free sh-t; that’s how it works over there. But you gotta be cool.Josh: I’m cool, baby, I’m cool. They’re gonna give Daddy a room, some breakfast, maybe Bennett singing. I know just the place.Jacoby:
What is in Josh’s mouth in the picture with Jacoby?
Jennifer and I are in the tiny, tiny minority that loved B-Kielt’s mint-julep sippin’ look. It might have been slightly less risky if he’d gone with a brown jacket, but seriously, I’m pro-brown suits and I thought he pulled it off. The only thing that was a little weird is that seam action on the front of his shirt. What’s that about?
Anyway, I love that crazy troll-haired man.
I don’t think Josh is smoking – i think he’s chewing on a toothpick – that’s definitely a Texas thing.
where’s Pedroia?? I bet he looks very boarding school/ring bearer in his suit (sorry, couldn’t resist a “cute little boy” comment ;-))
BASEBALL PLAYERS IN SUITS FTW.
Am I the only one who had to look up what FTW stands for? Sorry, Jenny…I am not ‘with it’ enough, I guess.
I think Papi looks amazing. The folks at SurvivingGrady commented he looks like an Oxford professor, and they are so right! Somehow, Papi as Professor is incredibly hot to me….I am scared of myself sometimes. Also, props to Papelbon for being a bit daring.
Some of the funniest fruitcakes i’ve seen in some time, can’t stop laughing. Tito, you should be embarassed to lead them to the White House, you should have sent some of those clowns home. Jacoby is wearing his sisters shades, Josh B looks like he has BigPapy’s little Papy in his mouth and Kielty looks like….a red headed mess that he is…Ronald McDonald is even laughing at him
This post cracks me up. There really is nothing like ballplayers in suits. Everybody loves a sharp dressed man!
-Jon Lester also looked really spiffy from what I saw of him.
-Tek and Lowell look like they shopped together. Tek also looks like he belongs in the CIA with those shades.
-Papelbon needs a new hairdo. The “fluffy” thing he has going on makes him look like a Duke Boy no matter what he wears.
-Daisuke is a very snazzy dresser.
-Papi could make a burlap sack fashionable with the right accessories.
-My father has a suit very similar to the one Kevin Cash is wearing. 0_o
-I actually had a teacher who dressed like Kielty (and that wasn’t in the 70’s). But he was colorblind!
-Still loving Josh’s tie.
They mostly all look weird to me – it’s so strange to see them in suits! FWIW, I think Kyle Snyder is actually wearing a coat over a suit – I saw another picture of him that showed it better. It’s not the best colored coat ever, but I think he actually did have a suit on.
Also, Papi looks like Benjamin Franklin in all these pictures to me – the glasses and the hair – it’s just weird! He needs to cut his hair, ASAP.
Love the pictures. Papelbon hot as usual.
What DOES …FTW and FWIW mean?
Am I showing my age??? :)
FTW = “for the win”
FWIW = “for what it’s worth”
Caroline – had he worn just the pants or just the (hideous) peach shirt or just the tie or just the jacket, it would have been fine. But no self-respecting Southern man would ever wear that ensemble to the Derby. And I’m a fan of brown suits as well, but those pants are ill-fitting, and kind of an ugly shade of brown to boot. Also, did I mention the (hideous) peach shirt?
Josh definitely isn’t smoking – he’s not holding a cigarette. Maybe it’s water? Or maybe it’s breath fog? Who knows.
If Papelbon is Bo Duke, does that make Josh Luke Duke?
Am I the only one that thinks Jacoby needs to find a good tailor? The first picture (the one of him by himself), isn’t too bad. But in the picture of him and Josh walking together, he looks like he’s swimming in that suit. He’s too good looking to be dressing like that. I really like the glasses though. They’re a huge improvement from the black ones he usually wears on the field.
our baseball gods clean up well… except kielty obviously the wife didn’t check you before you left spring training..loved josh beckett’s suit. note not a very large belt buckle but enough to let us know he’s a texan. papi does look like a professor and cora doing a little retro miami vice or what? loved it all… the only time i watched our president and didn’t cringe…
I think Snyder’s tan jacket is a “hey, it’s cold out jacket!” that he has over his suit jacket…not that it should be an excuse for not having a dark jacket on, but I think his actual suit jacket did match his pants. Timlin had a dark coat on and it looked very nice hehe.
Kielty’s wife is probably at wherever they live during the offseason with the new baby…so he had to dress himself with no female input. I’ve got a lot of redheads in my family, and it can be difficult to find colors that look good…but peach is never, ever, EVER one to pick. I find his bad suit kind of endearing, for what it’s worth:-P
Could it be possible they just caught Josh mid-spit? I like how he’s holding the newspaper all crumpled up haha. And Dice did win that best-dressed award thing in Japan…
I laughed aloud at Kielty’s ensemble. It’s brilliant. Anything looks ridiculous on him–in the greatest way–because of The Hair.
Papi was brilliant, though. He looks spectacular.
Jacoby is just… delicious. I do love how well he cleans up.
Apparently Snyder’s jacket thingie was just an overcoat. Which is fine enough, but couldn’t he had gotten a black one?
Cora looks too springy for one thing. That’s more of a spring suit than anything else(even though the entire ensemble isn’t my cup of tea). I loved that him and Kielty were next to each other. It was like scanning and then suddenly “OH DEAR GOD RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!” Kielty looks like a 1970’s sportscaster.
Also I was convinced for like 10 minutes that Javy and Jacoby had on the exact same suit.
was kielty getting ready to host lets make a deal??
and can i just say how HOT kevin cash looks?!
jacoby = hot mess….that suit needs tailored and those sunglasses are hideous…sorry ladies
you’re right – Jacoby’s pants are too baggy. maybe he borrowed one from someone else? Kyle Snyder looks like he’s an Adjunct Professor teaching 19th Century Poetry at Amherst in the off-season. all the chicks take his class cuz he’s the cool, laid-back prof. and he’s so deep. He remodeled a brownstone off-campus, and he drinks red wine. He likes to have his students over for dinner on occasion to discuss literature, He is probably banging one of his students.
Cora looks a little Vin Diesel-y without the diesel…which is not a good thing. when Men’s Vogue gave him that free suit and sunglasses at his photo shoot, they should have also given Jacoby a “European carryall” to put all his shit in.
Beckett: amazing…standing on the balcony like he owns the place : )
Tek: first thought-Secret Service member, but still looking good
Jacoby: mmm…and maybe rookies aren’t entitled to duffels or “man purses”
Paps: diggin the hair!
pic of beckett with his arms in the air: he’s so humble isn’t he? very modest…
Random thoughts… Don’t f–k with the Tek!… Look out Barack, Look Out Hill, Look Out Johnny Mac, It’s Francona/Schilling for 2008… Kielty can be Alan Kalter’s stand-in… Papelbon is the Hawk Harrelson of 2007 Red Sox, fashion forward and comfortable with his heterosexuality… Move over Danny DeVito & Arnold Schwarzenegger it’s Josh Beckett & Jacoby Ellsbury in Twins 2 coming to a theatre near you… diggin’ Dice-K’s get-up no nonsense… Okajima probably made more sense on the mike podium in that pic than Dubya has ever said in his 8 years as Prez IMO… Alex Cora looks like ECWer Justin Credible… I like Lowell’s cool stripe tie… and Big Papi with the perfect choice of dress shirt: He is a Blue-collar guy!