Pretty Ugly

Not all wins can be pretty. Not every victory comes presented on a Beckett-sized silver platter — sometimes, there has to be clawing and scraping for every run. Those kind of victories are ugly to watch, but pretty to add to the record books. And today certainly was one helluva pretty ugly game.

If you were planning on sitting down to watch a low-scoring pitchers’ duel between ace studs Josh Beckett and A.J. Burnett, the back-and-forth, down-and-dirty tussle at Fenway was a bit of a shock. The lead changed approximately 100 times (not an official calculation), and both teams ran through approximately 100 pitchers (also not an official calculation). In fact, with Jason Varitek notching his third career grand slam, Dustin Pedroia making a baserunning blunder AND a Buckner-esque fielding error, and MDC stepping in to play the role of stopper in place of Beckett, it felt like we’d been transported to Bizarro Sox Land. And that’s even without factoring in the oddity that is Mike Lowell and Varitek each having more home runs than the 1-2-3 batters have COMBINED.

 
The two sides to today’s game coin.

Dustin, as always, has an answer for everything:

The gold-glove fielder and heads-up baserunner made two uncharacteristic gaffes in the space of one inning yesterday, getting tagged out trying to advance to second on a sacrifice fly, and then letting a Johnny Damon ground ball go through his legs on defense.

Afterwards, he said he knew the cause: Usain Bolt, the Jamaicain sprinter who threw out the first pitch. Clearly, the Olympic medalist had made Pedroia think he had the speed of an world record-holder.

“I’m chalking all that stuff up to Usain Bolt throwing out the first pitch. I thought I was fast on [the sac fly], and then I was fast on the ground ball.”

Can we also blame the shitastical pitching on Usain Bolt as well? No?

While Dustin was confusing himself with Usain Bolt, Johnny Damon was confusing himself with Jacoby Ellsbury – and almost knocked himself unconscious running into the Monster to (unsuccessfully!) snag a catch. Although it was particularly satisfying to hear the reverberating KLANG of Johnny’s soulless body hitting the metal wall, he really needs to leave the Monster-climbing skills to the professionals.

And just in case folks walked away from Friday night’s epic contest a smidge disappointed because Joba Chamberlain didn’t throw at the head of Kevin Youkilis – never fear! AJ Burnett stepped in and drilled Youk instead. Because what would a Sox-Yanks series be if you don’t see “HBP: Kevin Youkilis” on the box score? Naturally, Josh Beckett responded by brushing back Derek “Captain Intangibles” Jeter off the plate with an up-and-in pitch that caused Jeets to almost make cartoon-like wheeling motions with his arms. Josh’s ERA may have taken a hit, but his brushback skills are in fine form, thankyouverymuch.

Anyone who thinks this rivalry is passe or boring? Needs to have their senses checked.