A nice old-fashioned game of tag ended in TRAGEDY, when baseball boyfriend Aaron Rowand injured his left shoulder (it was either a "strain" or a "tweak", depending on the news source). With Chutley out of the lineup thanks to a broken hand (courtesy of Enemy No. 1 John Lannan), the last thing Cholly needed was a gang of wild children terrorizing his all-star centerfielder into a freak injury.

Beware, folks- that innocent-looking child trying to taunt you into a game of tag may be an undercover operative from a rival team (I'm looking at you, METS) trying to put you on the DL.