I may not have been in Baltimore or have been able to watch a single pitch of his game, I may have been in the front row of LF at Citizens Bank Park (where the scenery is quite lovely, thanks to a certain Philly leftfielder)-- but clearly, my thoughts were on nothing but Josh Beckett on Saturday night.

drunken scorekeeping at its finest

By the end of the Phillies game, I'm pretty sure everyone sitting in my section was aware: (1) Josh Beckett had won #15, (2) Josh Beckett is hot, and (3) Josh Beckett kicks ass- because I think I made sure and told every single person. In my defense, how can anyone expect me to concentrate when (a) I can't watch Josh go after #15 live, (b) Adam Eaton is pitching, (3) the Phillies are losing to the stupid Braves, and (d) there is a slight chance I may possibly have been a little bit drunk? OK, I was a lot drunk - but it was Eaton! No Phillies fan can stay sober when confronted with that!

Big props to my friend Gwen for taking over scoring duties in the 3rd, and yet letting me backseat scorekeep over her shoulder. And writing "Coolerpants" beside J.D. Durbin's name for me. And letting me lean over and circle Josh's name throughout the game and squee over his win. And deciphering my way of scoring, and circling the out numbers like I do. And writing, "BACON!!" underneath Aaron's name for me. And for bringing me back TWO beers (and none for herself), when they'd only sell her two at a time. And for any other hijinks I may have gotten up to that I cannot recall. She's a rockstar.

Monday brought us all one step closer to the return of this beautiful sight:

Chase Utley got the once-over by a hand specialist (which isn't nearly as dirty as it sounds) on Monday, and is scheduled to begin "light tossing and hand exercises" with his injured hand on Tuesday. He's been fielding and shagging balls during BP since last week, but only one-handed; this news means he's now cleared to start using his broken right hand (albeit still in a splint).

When Chase returns, the Phils will be faced with the enviable "problem" of what to do with Tadahito Iguchi- signs seem to be that they'll try him at 3B (and he's taken some practice fielding there already). That would leave Dobbs able to platoon with Werth and Roberson in RF (and LF when Pat makes his normal defensive exit in most games) until Victorino comes off the DL.

Sox come from behind to win in the 9th.
Covelli Crisp puts together some offense.
Gagne... didn't suck.
Even more than that... Gagne- GOT THE WIN?

I feel like we've entered an alternate universe. Granted, our offense should have secured a W for Lester (zero runs, guys? come on!) -- but the Canadian Accent Mark didn't totally suck. WHOA.

Jon Lester looked fabulous - and I won't hear any arguments otherwise. Because there was all kinds of noise about how he's in a sophomore slump, not looking as sharp as his rookie season, and BLAH BLAH BLAH. Dude just beat cancer, and is making his first start back in the Fens - and so I'm inclined to cut him a little slack (especially when he holds the opposition to just one ER).

Bonus cute picture of hero Mike Lowell (thanks for that HR in the bottom of the 9th, sweetheart) getting mobbed with love by Big Papi and my baseball boyfriend Josh Beckett.

(plus, the Yankees got their ass handed to them by the Orioles, by a score of TWELVE TO NOTHING- always hilarious)

I my ongoing efforts to pretend today's day game never happened, I'm distracting myself with video from last night instead. More specifically, this post-game lockerroom interview segment with the much-maligned Eric Gagne -- who is, dare I say it, rather cute and cuddly here?

So that's how you know that Gagne's had a good day - he doesn't cuss. Against my better judgment, I find myself hearting him ever so slightly for referring to his cussfest after his last horrific outing.

Notice: they have his locker set up next to Clement. How awesome would it be if the pitching staff's lockers were arranged in order according to how well they're doing? Gagne being given the locker just ahead of a guy who's not back out of rehab assignments yet is pretty fitting. And imagine the preening between Papelbon and Beckett over who gets the #1 locker stall... except you just know Schilling would come in every day under cover of darkness and rearrange everything to put himself in the first space.

1. Looks like J.D. "Coolerpants" Durbin will be starting for the Phillies in place of Adam Eaton in the rotation- who has gone on the 15-day DL because of a "shoulder inflammation". Yeah, sure, I believe that- Eaton's out of the rotation because he's hurt, not because he sucked so bad on Saturday he drove me to drink.

2. Isn't Jonathan Papelbon quite the fancy pants, tooling around in an Aston Martin?

3. Was it money well spent by the Phillies on Russell Branyan? Well, he hit a game-winning 2-run homer in his first at-bat for the Phils, so I'm in the "yes" camp... for now. I reserve the right to change my opinion at any time.

4. A great reality check and inventory for the Red Sox fan who is on the ledge and ready to jump.

5. Carlos Zambrano sees your eephus and raises you a zeephus.

6. Non-baseball story alert! Hide your women and children, Barry Switzer is taking to the airwaves as a football analyst for XM radio.

7. So it sounds like the DRays had a rough trip to Boston- involving a fire alarm-pulling prankster in the team's hotel in the early hours of the morning they arrived.

8. Metsgrrl makes her first pilgramage to the holy land of Wrigley - and makes it out alive to tell the tale (and share a ton of great pictures).

And in the pitcher's spot:

9. Calculating chances to make the playoffs:
Boston Red Sox - 94.5%
Chicago Cubs - 34.4%
Philadelphia Phillies - 38.4%

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the one-man Web Gem... Aaron "Bacon Pants" Rowand!

After this, you would think he would be loathe to run headlong into outfield walls... but you would be so very wrong about that. He is ALL grinder. So when Dmitri "Da Meat Hook" Young popped a long fly ball to center field in tonight's Phillies-Nationals game at RFK, Aaron didn't hesitate to run straight into the wall in pursuit of the catch (and OF COURSE he made the play). In the words of the MASN broadcast team:

"He keeps going until some foreign object bigger than him makes him stop."

Is there anything he can't do? At this point, I'm thinking no- except for maybe stay in Philly after the season is over. Troubling sign? The Phillies' website shows Aaron in a White Sox ballcap. EEP!

Does the webmaster know something I don't?!?

Things will be quiet around here for a few days -- I'm shipping up to Boston today (Thursday), and will be at the weekend Red Sox-Angels series (and catching a PawSox game on Sunday as well). That means: yay Buchholz! yay Beckett! and hopefully a little of Papelbon as well.

In the meantime, I'll leave you with this classic piece of Sox video to enjoy while I'm gone.

Fucking Gagne. FUCKING GAGNE!