Dice-K: A penny for your thoughts, tall Texan.

Beckett: I'm just kind of all, what the fuck, dude? I mean, shit.

Dice-K: Yes, I believe I understand your frustration, oh wearer of hemp accessories, at the downturn in our team's recent production on the field. I, too, have found myself worried at times. But you must remember we've been dealing with a spate of injuries and fatigue- and this period, although taxing on us mentally and physically (and as difficult as it is for the fans), will be over soon. We have a spectacularly talented staff, and we will triumphantly proceed to postseason play and take our rightful place as victors over all the land- and we will be rewarded with trophies and parades and accolades and you and I shall celebrate as winners and embrace as brothers.

Beckett: I mean, did you SEE those devil rays they got in that giant tank in the outfield? They're all swimming around and kids are touching 'em and crap. Dude, that shit just ain't right.

Dice-K: Pardon?

Beckett: I wonder if they'd let me keep one of them rays in a water cooler in the dugout?

Dice-K: *goes back to pretending not to speak a word of English*