CENTER FIELD :: Million Dollar Arm, Five Cent Head

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Million Dollar Arm, Five Cent Head

So I was watching a brawl, and a baseball game broke out.

The post's title is courtesy of Dave McCarty, who was describing the enigma that is Daniel Cabrera. I watched the fracas on both the MASN and NESN feeds, and as best as I can tell, here's a breakdown...

Daniel "Danny Boy" Cabrera didn't seem to enjoy Coco Crisp's bunt attempt in the fourth, as I deduced from the glare he shot at Coco. He definitely didn't enjoy Coco dancing and darting around behind him on third, as I deduced from his balky movements on the mound. And he most definitely did not enjoy the balk the home plate ump issued him, or having to watch Coco cross home plate for a score. So, angered at his own pitching performance and his own drawing a balk, he naturally... buzzed Dustin Pedroia's head. Of course he did!

But why do opposing pitchers always need to take their anger out on lil' Dusty P?

Oh, right, it's because Pedro is about waist-high. But we've all seen Mighty Mouse get scrappy. We also know he is fighting way above his weight class. And he's demonstrated that he's not afraid to risk his life. I'm not sure that anyone should be buzzing Scrappy Doo. I think it's only a matter of time before that ticking time bomb explodes on some random Devil Ray or Mariner... and it ain't gonna be pretty. I have full confidence Dusty P can handle himself in a fight.

But back to the events of this evening. In quick summary: Coco tries to bunt. Danny Boy glares. Coco gets on. Coco gets to third. Danny Boy balks. Coco trots home. Danny Boy pitches BEHIND DUSTY P'S HEAD. Tito leads the charge of the Sox bench clearing. O's bench follows. Ump issues a warning (!) to Danny Boy and benches. Danny Boy is held back. Some wiseacre on Sox bench* compliments Danny Boy on his pitch selection**. O's catcher Hernandez goes ballistic and starts pinwheeling directionless haymaker arms. Danny Boy shoves his way out of the ump's grasp, untucks his jersey and politely requests that someone spar with him.*** Benches empty in full force. Bullpen guys jump the outfield wall (!) when they can't find the exit door. Julian Tavarez plays peacemaker (?). Danny Boy gets the boot. Kevin Cash (??) gets the boot****. Orioles get shut out and go home losers all around.*****

* My money was on Beckett, but inside sources tell me it was Papelbon.
** And by that I mean, cusses him out Beckett-Joba style.
*** And by that I mean, tells the Sox players to bring it on MF.
**** Does this mean Kevin Cash has a filthy mouth? Color me intrigued.
***** Except Kevin Millar, of course.

The NESN postgame video of the fracas:

Let's not forget:

* Jacoby Ellsbury has a gorgeous face-smashing catch up against the outfield wall in left. It's awesome stuff... just please don't break your pretty face, darlin'.

* Kevin Youkilis broke the AL record with 179 consecutive appearances playing first base without an error (thank goodness the official scorer didn't rule that Lester-Youk mixup as an E against Youk).

* Former Sock Kevin Millar made his 475th plate appearance on the year, thus guaranteeing a contract with the Orioles for next season.

* Roger Clemens next start could come as soon as September 16th... in Fenway Park against the Red Sox. Things could get interesting.

Comments (7)

[ beth ] says:
on September 8, 2007 2:21 AM

awesome recap of the fight. who are your sources on the papelbon thing? wonder if he dropped a c-bomb too. :-)

[ Huck8467 ] says:
on September 8, 2007 7:34 AM

Danny Boy lost his mind right there. Papelbon must be hanging out with Josh too much. ;) I did see (and you wouldn't have noticed unless you were looking for Mr. Beckett in the melee) Josh step kind of in front of Coco. Cabrera wanted Coco in that whole thing. I guess Josh figured his 6'5 would be a better match then Coco for that 6'9 freak.

Great recap. (As always) Felt like I was there. LOL

[ Texas Gal ] says:
on September 8, 2007 8:52 AM

I doubt Papelbon is as advanced in the art of cussing as Beckett- my bet would be a f-bomb or, at worst, an m-f-bomb. I think Beckett has the market cornered on creative cussfests.

I saw Josh milling around in the group, but did not catch him protecting Coco- nice find.

My favorite part of all, though, was the bullpen guys who couldn't find the exit door, and so just scaled over the outfield wall in their haste to join to melee.

[ FEMTG ] says:
on September 8, 2007 2:41 PM

Beckett has been known to speak from the dugout.

[ Huck8467 ] says:
on September 8, 2007 2:58 PM

Understatement of the year FEMTG. LOL

I wish I had recorded the game so I could see the melee again. It wasn't an all out protect Coco thing...just a step in front of him. I don't think Danny would have wanted any of that mad Texan. ;)

[ Steve ] says:
on September 8, 2007 5:00 PM

Its just too bad that Cabrera's 10 cent head is gonna get one of his innocent teammates knocked into the dirt on Sunday when Beckett pitches.

You know as well as I do that if given the chance Beckett is dusting someone. And that goes for the Yankees too after the Joba thing.

[ Jai/MoonstarMA ] says:
on September 8, 2007 8:45 PM

So sweet of Joshie to go protecting Coco! I saw him jawing from the dugout, similar to the way he was jawing at Joba. I think he's been itching to take someone out since the Yankees series. As I mentioned on Beth's blog, if I'm the O's, I wouldn't want to take on the Sox. Those be some big guys with itchy trigger fingers (Joshie and Mad Mike in the lead). I'm dying to see how long it takes for Beckett to buzz someone. Jay Payton, anyone???

Saturday is turning out to be rough night at the ballpark. Hope you at least enjoyed the park - I lived in Baltimore for 7 years and got to see many games from many different parts of Camden yards. Just a beautiful ball park.

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