Following close on the heels of his announcement today that he was returning to Boston (hooray!), Curt Schilling made an appearance on the first episode of Dennis Miller's new Sports Uncensored show on Versus. Curt was relaxed and at ease, and who wouldn't be after locking down a multi-million dollar contract and solidifying your legacy in a town that worships you?

Curt talked candidly, as always, about all kinds of Sox stuff. Dennis asked him to spill some of the details about his brand new contract, and Schill responded, "I got a shit ton of money to play back in Boston, the city that I love." Excellent. Not enough people use the phrase "shit ton", I heartily approve. And I also appreciate a pro ballplayer recognizing that the minimum $8MM he'll get is, indeed, a shit ton.

He joked about some words Dennis had used earlier in the broadcast ("I'm actually trying to figure out how I can fit 'eternal priapism'- I think that's the term you used earlier. How did you get somebody to laugh at that? I don't even know what it means.") and also joked about the fear he feels before his starts, saying: "I don't think I'm any different than most people when it comes to the big game. You couldn't pull a pin out of my ass with a tractor."

Curt also talked about some of his teammates and coaches, including the prospect of signing Mike Lowell ("I think they're going to make a serious, serious effort to get it done."). He first joked about manager Tito Francona: "He sucks at cribbage. he's a horrible fantasy football manager. Doesn't really know the game very well- if he didn't have Brad Mills, he probably would be scouting for Modesto or something." And then, more seriously, "Phenomenal guy. Phenomenal manager. Phenomenal human being. A hell of a guy to play for, and a very close friend. "

The highlight, however, was Schill talking about Josh Beckett- I think that pair probably have a very mercurial relationship. They've got a lot in common, and I bet they alternate between being either the best of pals, or they get so sick of each other, they can't stand to be around one another. On Beckett, Schill said:

"I enjoy [Josh's] press conferences more than anything. I mean, his f-bomb to quote ratio is right up there with anything Eddie Murphy ever did.

He's intense. But beyond all of it, he has a deep-seated desire to be great and to be better than everybody else. And when you throw the ball 98 miles an hour, you got Nolan Ryan's curveball and a Frank Viola changeup, that's not a real bad mix."

Here's full video of the appearance: