We're going to play a little pretend today, on this cold and snowy Thursday-- when baseball games are creeping closer... but not close enough.

Let's pretend we're back in September, on the last weekend of the season, when the Sox were riding high (but not as high as they would be at the end of October) and the playoffs stretched ahead in the distance. The best part of baseball has yet to be played. It's a Sunday, and the Sox are playing the Twins at home in the final game of the regular season. Everyone's a little punch drunk, because the Sox have already clinched the pennant and homefield advantage. So NESN gives Jerry Remy a little free rein, letting him take over the play-by-play role, and this is the result...

Homer Inning is a genius idea- and Remy plays it up to perfection. I particularly love how Garza goes from being just "fair" to having the best stuff of any pitcher in the history of ever. And how "PeeWee" intentionally fouled the ball off to try and make the catcher all "wobbly". And how they have NO CHANCE to throw Lugo out on a steal- even if he runs backward to the bag. And how even the shadows are conspiring to be tougher on the Sox than the Twins. Remy sounds like every hardcore baseball nut who's ever gotten too drunk on beer to watch the game with any sense of logic or impartiality. It's brilliant.

This is precisely why I should never be given a microphone to do commentary on-air, because I fear it would be Homer Inning all the time... except it would not be sarcastic in the slightest.