What would a Red Sox-Yankees game be without hits? The kind of hits that send a ball over the outfield fence. Or the kind of hits that plunk a batter (or two). Or just plain ol' fisticuffs. Last night's game was no exception.

Mike Mussina started off the hit parade by plunking Jacoby Ellsbury, the very first batter he faced. And just for good measure, he plunked Jacoby again the next time he stepped up to the plate. No brawls ensued, mostly because Moose squints so hard when he pitches that he looks constipated-- so the Sox players probably thought he couldn't even see (or pitch) well enough to carry out some dastardly HBP plan against Ellsbury.

Mussina certainly couldn't pitch well enough to prevent Manny Ramirez from bringing a flood of his own hits to the Bronx - including 2 homeruns off the Moose. The first was a centerfield shot deceptive enough to fool Melky Cabrera into thinking he might have a shot of catching it; the second was a no-brainer 429-foot long bomb out to left that Johnny Damon didn't even bother tracking to the wall.

But the hit of the night might have been the hit that didn't even happen. Professor Kyle Farnsworth predictably decided to take out the frustration of the Yankee clubhouse on Manny the Hit Machine-- and hurled a 90+mph fastball at Manny's head. Luckily, Manny stepped forward over the plate rather than trying to back away from the pitch. Even more predictably, Joe Girardi and Farnsworth insist it was all an accident:

Yankees manager Joe Girardi already had an explanation. This was a classic case of a hyped-up reliever trying to throw 100 mph, he said -- of a guy trying to cram too much adrenaline into one little pitch.

"I try to do that all the time," Farnsworth said. "That's part of my problem."

Farnsworth claimed the ball just "slipped," a product of his trying to pitch inside against arguable the game's hottest hitter.

Both manager and reliever swore that the pitch, which nearly plunked Ramirez on his helmet, was not intentional. Ramirez's two home runs earlier in the game didn't prompt it, they said. It was a non-issue. Nothing to say. Barely even worth discussing.

Ah, yes- another case of slippy pitches. I think it's pretty safe to say, judging by Josh Beckett's reaction to the slippy Farnsworth, that he has some slippy pitching of his own in store for the Yankees at the next available opportunity. I love a good revenge plunking.

Here's video of Manny's hits (and near-hit). This includes Manny's first full at-bat and homerun, and his dugout reaction afterwards -- looking angelic while cuddling Dustin Pedroia. It also shows Manny's second bomb and dugout conversation with Josh Beckett afterwards. And the last part shows Farnsworth's near drilling of Manny's skull... and Josh Beckett mentally filing the incident away for future reference.

video courtesy of NESN