Despite the rocky offensive outing by the Red Sox, Oakland A's righty pitcher Justin Duchscherer was not able to "pull a Lester" and throw a no-hitter. Duchscherer's perfect game was broken up in the sixth not with a hit, but with a hit batsman (Jason Varitek); David Ortiz then slammed the door on the no-no bid in the seventh with a single. From the Globe:

By the sixth inning of a game in which he hadn't allowed a hit, it dawned on Justin Duchscherer: Before the game he kidded with infielder Donnie Murphy that he might "pull a Lester" and throw a no-hitter.

"It's funny, when I came in today Donnie Murphy and I are always giving each other tough-guy looks. I said to him, 'You'd better not look at me like that.' Seriously, I said this just joking, 'Those guys over there don't want to face me today because I'm gonna pull a Lester on them.' Then after six, I'm like, 'Oh, my God!' It was coincidental, but funny at the same time."

Sorry, A's - but we're still bitter you stole away a no-no from Curt Schilling last year with one out left in the ninth. You'll get no no-no from the Sox this time, old chums. You will, however, get the 3-0 victory...

Even without any offense from the Sox, there was plenty of defense to go around. Namely, Jacoby Ellsbury speeding around in left field like a roadrunner while filling in for Manny Ramirez. In the first inning, Jacoby had a shot at repeating that Web Gem bullpen-diving catch from last season, and just couldn't hold on to the ball. Never fear, because he got that highlight reel diving catch with the very next batter. If at first you don't succeed, and all that.

video courtesy of NESN

While maybe not Web Gem worthy, Josh Beckett also contributed defensively - sure, there were the nine K's for BecKKKKKKKKKett without a single base on balls... but it was his basket catching skills that provide the fun in this clip. Bonus fun watching Sweeney trying to figure out whether he should be more concerned about smacking Jason Varitek with his bat -- or if he needed to be running towards first base.

video courtesy of NESN

As if the no-hitter and victory celebrations afterwards weren't already sweet enough, Jon Lester wasn't just putting to rest his own battle over cancer... but also the news that his father had also been just recently diagnosed with lymphoma as well. Jon revealed the news during an interview with Erin Andrews on ESPN earlier today.

Lester said his father John was diagnosed with lymphoma last month and that the cancer is "slow growing, ... something [his father] will die with, not die from."

Jon Lester learned of his father's medical problems during Boston's opening series at Fenway Park when they got their World Series rings. Jon Lester, who was diagnosed with a rare form of non-Hodgkin's lymphoma nearly two years ago, earned the victory in the clinching game of Boston's sweep of the Colorado Rockies last year.

When his mother sat him down to deliver the news, Lester knew the seriousness of the situation.

"You hear the word cancer, and you figure death," Lester said.

Jon Lester said his father is doing well and has two more treatments to go. The 24-year-old pitcher said that his father is proud of him, but after learning first hand what his son had to go through, "He's more proud of me on another level."

It also helps explain that extra bit of emotion shared between Jon and Tito Francona:

After the no-hitter, Lester and Red Sox manager Terry Francona had an emotional embrace. Everyone understood then what the pitcher had been through to get to this point -- or at least they thought they did.

While none of Lester's teammates knew of his father's cancer, Francona had been told what was going on. That was likely why Lester had said he wanted to keep his conversation with his manager private after the game.

Father and son had debated whether or not to talk publicly about his dad's condition. John Lester wanted his son to get it off his chest.

"He's telling everyone ... like he won a prize," Jon Lester said. "It makes him feel better to sit there and talk about it. He can tell people, you know what, I have cancer, I'm doing great, everything is going to be good and people look at him like he's crazy. I guess that's how everyone looked at me when I told them."

Jon will get to see his father for the first time since his dad was diagnosed today, when he takes the hill in Oakland.

Father and son will get to talk in person about their unfortunate common bond on Sunday. Jon Lester is scheduled to make his first start since the no-hitter Sunday afternoon in Oakland against the Athletics.

When the Lesters meet up Sunday night, Jon is bringing a special gift for his dad. He'll have a brand new Red Sox World Series hat with him to cover his father's head that is now bald due to cancer treatments.

Here's full video of the Erin Andrews interview of Jon, which aired this morning as today's Sunday Conversation on ESPN:

video courtesy of ESPN

vs. Oakland Athletics 4:05 pm McAfee Coliseum - Oakland, CA SP: Jon Lester vs. Joe Blanton tv/radio: NESN - MLB.TV - WRKO

Just because I can, I'm choosing to blame Manny's error on the creepy smiling Victory Van in Oakland's left field. For that matter, I'm choosing to blame our random defensive miscues, on again-off again bats, weirdly crappy pitching and weekend sweep on that Van.

Vans should not smile at you. They should not stare at you with unblinking eyes that look like they belong to a dangerous stoner hobo. No, I don't know if dangerous stoner hobos actually exist - but if they do, they'd have the same look on their faces as that Victory Van.

Forget the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - when I see that Victory Van coming towards me, I'll know it's the end of days.

You write an article called "8 Reasons Baseball is Lame and Boring". Which is basically a complete ripoff of this article, except without the creativity and skill and humor. So, basically, just a poorly written unoriginal boring ripoff.

I would spend the time tearing the "article" apart, but why do that when the Fire Joe Morgan guys have already done so (and with much more panache than I could anyway). To wit:

On-base percentages, opponent on-base plus slugging percentages, sabermetrics ... Alan Greenspan might enjoy crunching the numbers, but for those of us who'd rather leave our brains at work, the cold-beverage-intake-to-bladder-outflow ratio makes a whole lot more sense.

Bra. Seriously, bra. Fuck these nerds. For serious. True story, bra -- I'm at the game yesterday. I'm wasted. Seriously, bra, I've had like eleven brews. I'm there with my boy Donnie -- awesome guy. Solid guy. The papers call him the "Laundry Room Rapist." So Donnie's like, "Bra, you want another one?" And I'm like, "Shitchyea, dude! I ain't driving!" And Donnie's all, "Bra, you are driving, remember?" And I was like, "Ohhhh shit!" And we high-five, right?

So basically everything was awesome. We were crushing it, bra. And then, this little fucking nerd in front of us is like, "Can you be careful? You're spilling beer on my daughter's head," and I'm like, "Whatever dude -- it's a ballgame. Shut up and enjoy the ride!" and he's like, "Just try to be more considerate," and then his little nerd son is like, "Daddy, look, Manny's up!" and his nerd dad is like, "Let's go Manny!" and his nerd son is like, "His batting average is down to .288" and that's when I just lost it, bra. Those fucking nerds and their numbers. So I pull my rod out -- you know, because I have to piss, right? -- and the guy is all, "Hey! You can't do that here!" and I'm like, "Sorry, nerdbra, the only statistic I care about is how many brewskis I've had and how much piss I've pissed" and the next thing you know security is dragging me out and they're all like, "You're banned for life" and I'm like, "Bra, what the hell?" and they're like "You pulled your penis out and urinated at your seat and there's vomit on your forearm, and also you can't smoke in the stadium, and your friend is wearing a shirt and shoes but no pants," and I'm like "He's Donald Ducking it, bra -- it's classic!" and they're like, "Get out of here and never come back."

And that's when I realized: nerds have ruined baseball.

Marry me, Mose Schrute. Er, Ken Tremendous.

In remembrance of those who fought before
In honor of those fighting for us now
Happy Memorial Day!

vs. Seattle Mariners 4:05 pm Safeco Field - Seattle, WA SP: Bartolo Colon vs. Felix Hernandez tv/radio: NESN - MLB.TV - WRKO

Sometimes, all you need to get you through a long Tuesday workday after a holiday weekend is a little video of Dustin Pedroia playing a prank on Tito Francona.

video courtesy of NESN

vs. Seattle Mariners 10:10 pm Safeco Field - Seattle, WA SP: Daisuke Matsuzaka vs. Miguel Batista tv/radio: NESN - MLB.TV - WRKO

Bad News? Daisuke Matsuzaka left the game last night after four innings with what the Red Sox are calling "shoulder fatigue". It's similar to the injury that plagued Dice-K earlier in his professional career in Japan, which he (erroneously) tried to pitch through -- so the Sox were careful not to make the same mistake and quickly pulled him last night. Tito Francona said the team isn't sure whether Dice will make his next scheduled start on Monday.

Good News? If the whole pitching thing doesn't work out, Dice-K showed a remarkable talent for posing. I smell a centerfold in his future!

I was all set to write a strident, forceful post about how that silly "498" banner the Sox insisted on draping in Fenway's outfield was at the root of Manny's hitting problems. That instead of acting like a red flag for a bull, it was having the reverse effect and screwing with his mojo.

And then #499 happened last night.

So now I solemnly swear never to doubt Manny's mojo again - or ever think that some banner (no matter how lame and Yankees-esque PR stunt it might be) has any effect at all whatsoever on said mojo. It was so very Shaughnessy of me to think there was any kind of curse, and I know better.

I still think they should take it down, though.

photo credit: md91180

vs. Seattle Mariners 10:10 pm Safeco Field - Seattle, WA SP: Tim Wakefield vs. Erik Bedard tv/radio: NESN - MLB.TV - WRKO

Just like players convene on the pitcher's mound to discuss questions or strategy, sometimes everyone could use a little bit of a pitcher's mound conference about baseball. This will be an occasional series in which readers can submit questions via email about anything related to the Red Sox or baseball... and I do my darnedest to answer them for you.

Last night I was watching the 8th inning of the Cubs game (I'm a Sox fan but I love baseball so much if the Sox aren't on, I watch anything), and Zambrano was pitching.. he had stepped off the mound and was about to go back on the mound, but took his foot off the dirt so he could lick his hand. The announcers said something that he's not allowed to lick his hand while on the mound or else the ump would issue a walk? (I think that's what they said). Have you heard of that before?

A pitcher cannot lick his fingers while standing on the mound, period. Under Rule 8.02(a)(1), the pitcher is forbidden from bringing his pitching hand in contact with his lips or mouth while standing on the pitcher's mound (other than to blow on his hands in cold weather, if previously agreed on). The penalty is a ball (unless the batter otherwise reaches base and no runner is out, in which case, the penalty is disregarded and the batter stays where he is). If it occurred with 3 balls on the count, it counts as a fourth ball and the batter takes first base.

A pitcher is allowed to lick his fingers while he is standing on the turf surrounding the pitcher's mound... but he must wipe his fingers before touching the ball again.

Even though his team had the nerve to defeat Tim Wakefield on Wednesday night (hitting a homerun off Wake was just so rude!), fellow knuckleballer (and Mariner) R.A. Dickey paid rightful homage to King Knuckle. Dickey requested an audience with Wakefield, and (of course), the benevolent and awesome King Knuckle granted his request.

The small fraternity of major-league knuckleball pitchers - Boston's Tim Wakefield and Seattle's R.A. Dickey - met outside the bounds of convention during the Mariners-Red Sox series at Safeco Field.

Dickey requested the meeting Tuesday, and the two veterans talked for 45 minutes Wednesday about a myriad of deep issues that only knuckleball specialists can relate to.

"We had a real deep discussion about the things I struggle with, and things he struggles with," Dickey said.

Next time, I hope King Knuckle's own teammates pay proper homage to their liege-- by actually, you know, SCORING A RUN.

Happy 36th Birthday to one
Manuel Aristides Ramírez Onelcida may you never change

Now how's about snagging that #500 as a birthday gift to us?

Everyone's got their eye on the countdown to 500 - but there are a few other Sox milestones that are fast approaching.

J.D. Drew - needs 3 doubles to hit 200 on his career
Mike Lowell - needs 2 RBIs to reach 800 on his career
Sean Casey - needs 7 hits to reach 1,500 on his career

Other milestones the Sox should be closing in on soon? 200 spelling contests by Jonathan Papelbon, 500 calls argued by Kevin Youkilis, 750 different hairstyles by Daisuke Matsuzaka, 1000 cussfests by Josh Beckett and 1200 uses of the word "scrappy" to describe Dustin Pedroia. Oh, and 170 errors by Julio Lugo. That last one is not a joke, sadly.

vs. Baltimore Orioles 7:05 pm Camden Yards - Baltimore, MD SP: Josh Beckett vs. Daniel Cabrera tv/radio: NESN - MLB.TV - WRKO

Congratulations to the Boston Celtics, who advance to the NBA Finals after their Game 6 victory over the Detroit Pistons last night!

I'm not a Celtics fan, but I know a whole heckuva lot of Center Field readers are - not to mention a whole bunch of the Red Sox team. So to celebrate, what's better than a whole slew of pictures of Red Sox at Celtics games, dressed up in their finest green duds?

Lots more Sox-Celtics photos after the jump!

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