Josh Beckett- I think it's time we had a talk.

No, not "the talk" -- I think you're probably covered on that front. I mean that we need to talk about what's going on with you lately. Eight earned runs in 2 and 1/3 innings, Josh? That's just not you. That's the most runs you've served up to an opponent on a platter in a long while, and in the shortest inning span by far.

Even more troubling than the stat line, is your post-pitching reaction. Josh Beckett does things like this and this and this when he sucks wind on the mound. There's lots of kicking and/or punching things, and always a hailstorm of cusswords from you. There are also impatient and condescending looks at reporters and snippy answers to dumb questions. Josh Beckett does not, after being pulled in the third inning, pull off his jersey and then gather his things together rather calmly and exit the dugout for the clubhouse without any temper tantrum or dramatic flair. But that's exactly what you did. And the post-game interview?

"It was frustrating," said Beckett. "Give up eight [fucking] runs - pretty frustrating. That's what it is."

One cuss word? One f-bomb? That's it? Who are you and what have you done with Josh Beckett?

But I think I have you figured out, Josh. Your sucktastical performance against the Jays prompted me to go back in time and figure out when the last time when you sucked that bad. And that's when it dawned on me: it's my birthday. I'm the jinx.

Ever since you joined the Sox, there has been a fantastically sucky belly flop (to varying degrees) on and around my birthday. 2006? August 19th versus the Yankees - 9 earned runs and a loss. 2007? I was at that game on August 17th versus the Angels - you left the game with 1 earned run, only to see Gagne blow the save in epic fashion. (that was the water bottle game.) And now 2008, the day before my birthday... the Ocho Incident. Yes, I've given it a name, Josh.

Listen, I know today is my birthday and all - but you don't need to stress out about trying to impress me. Remember what happened when I was down in Florida for spring training? Or against the White Sox in Chicago last year? Or versus the Yankees and Roger in the Bronx in '07? It seems like you always seem to do better when I'm not there, Josh. Well, not always.

From now on, how 'bout you just pretend every August 18th (or thereabouts) is Game One? And feel free to kick a water cooler, take a bat to the dugout bench, or cuss in the postgame press conference. It'll probably make you feel better than just about anything - short of being allowed to drink beer in the dugout or take target practice in between innings.

It has nothing to do with the Red Sox (my favorite subject), or Josh Beckett or Sean Casey or Jason Bay (my favorite sub-subjects) -- but it's my birthday, and so I shall post on it anyway.

Today, of all days, FJM posting something about Vince Young and my beloved Texas Longhorns leaves me no choice but to deduce that it is a personal birthday shout-out. Even if it is linking to Richard "I Hate UT, And Mock It Constantly" Justice.

Thank you, FJM. That is the Most Hyperbolic Thing Anyone Has Ever Shouted-Out To Me About Any Subject in the History of the Universe.

vs. Baltimore Orioles 7:05 pm Camden Yards - Baltimore, MD SP: Jon Lester vs. Jeremy Guthrie tv/radio: NESN - MLB.TV - WRKO

I really enjoy days like today - when there were so many great performances during last night's game, that it makes it difficult to pick a favorite. It was hard to even narrow it down to three. For the first time in the history of Center Field, I'm awarding three-way tie honors for Baseball Boyfriend of the Day to Jason Bay, Jon Lester and Jason Varitek.

It's just too tough to decide between the new addition who pounds out two homers in a game, the newly crowned ace pitcher who always seems to deliver new life to the clubhouse, and the veteran captain who gained a toehold in digging his way out of a slump with a long bomb. So I didn't choose. Rather, I'm choosing them all.

I must give bonus props to Jason "Beaker" Bay for this gem:

Bay was asked, given his time languishing in Pittsburgh for most of his career, exactly how long it's been since he was in the middle of a pennant race. He smiled.

"Little League?"

vs. Baltimore Orioles 7:05 pm Camden Yards - Baltimore, MD SP: Daisuke Matsuzaka vs. Daniel Cabrera tv/radio: NESN - MLB.TV - WRKO

Rob Bradford is doing a fantastic job running the show over at the all-new WEEI.com (he brought Deadspin pal Will Leitch on board - and the awesome Alex Speier). And he's reporting that Clay Buchholz and pitching coach John Farrell may have unlocked what's been going sour with Clay's pitching:

What they uncovered was that Buchholz was drifting forward upon beginning his approach to the plate with runners on base, causing problems with the location of his pitches.

"It's more like a drift in my delivery," Buchholz explained. "When I'm in the windup I'm fine, but when I'm in the stretch, I go to my balance point, I pick my leg up and I'm already going forward. It's not allowing me to get the ball out of my glove and really be on top.

"We did one side by side where I waited back and threw a pitch and one where I didn't wait back. In one frame you can see the difference where my upper body is at and where my lower body is at, the right way, and in the other one it's all out of whack. Fastballs when I stay back and let myself to get on top of it its for the most part where I want to throw it, and when I don't that's when the ball tails back over the middle."

I took a look at the PitchFX data for Clay's starts this year- and compared the release points in his earlier good outings versus his more recent troubling outings. And it looks as though he's also throwing the ball at a much lower vertical release point when he's running into problems. It could be that "drift" that Clay and Coach Farrell have spotted is what's causing the discrepancies in the release points.

Compare Clay's release points versus the Yankees on April 11th (6.0 IP/1 ER) and the Rangers on April 21st (6.0 IP/0 ER):

Contrasted with his release points versus the Angels on July 29th (6.1 IP/6 ER) and the White Sox on August 10th (3.0 IP/5 ER):

vs. Baltimore Orioles 7:05 pm Camden Yards - Baltimore, MD tv/radio: NESN - MLB.TV - WRKO

Within, oh, MINUTES of the end of tonight's travesty of a game, Clay Buchholz was optioned back down to the minor leagues. More specifically, he's going down to AA-Portland.

Correcting the "drift" doesn't help very much, Clay, if you've got zero command.

Eck mused on the situation after the game, and reckons we won't see Clay pitching as a starter in Boston any time soon. I'm inclined to agree with him. The good news is that Tim Wakefield threw a side session today, putting him on track to be reactivated soon, and Josh Beckett is still on schedule to pitch on Tuesday against the Yankees. I suppose we could always go to Alex Cora in a pinch- he was warming up in the bullpen tonight, in the event the pitcher hemorrhage continued.

Other good news? Julio Lugo isn't coming back anytime soon, either.

Julio Lugo said he felt something pull in his left quad while sprinting in the outfield this afterrnoon and feels he might have suffered a setback from his comeback. Lugo said he was scheduled to start a rehab assignment on Monday in Triple A, but said, "I shut it down today and I'll see how it feels tomorrow. I felt I was getting really close and now this."...

I'm sorry, Julio - but that sound you hear? The crickets? Yeah, that's pretty much all of the Sox fans fans who are clamoring for your return. The same number that pine for Gagne.

Last night's third inning blitz put the Orioles on top of the Red Sox, and the Sox were not able after that to come from behind for the win. That same third inning, though, brought two highlights for the game reel that you just don't see very often.

First, Kevin Cash dallies around holding the ball and chatting it up with the home plate ump and looking around at nothing in particular after a called ball four... and Melvin Mora seizes on the opportunity to steal an additional base. Fundamentals, Kevin. You have to pay attention.

And then, in the very next at-bat, Ramon Hernandez goes yard-- and Coco Crisp makes a spectacular attempt at a Web Gem catch, catapulting himself completely up and over the outfield wall.

video courtesy of NESN

The Sox may have run through pitchers like water through a sieve, but there's still never a dull moment.

Ken Rosenthal is reporting that the Red Sox signed veteran catcher David Ross to a minor-league deal... with an eye to grooming him to be the third catcher behind Jason Varitek and Kevin Cash.

Yes, that same David Ross.

Ross was DFA'ed by the Reds a short while ago, and released on August 18th (is my birthday unlucky for ballplayers or what?). He's another Georgia boy, so I'm sure J.D. is psyched about this latest development. I am choosing to overlook the fact that he went to the University of Florida - nobody's perfect, I suppose.

I know a certain Reds pitcher who is probably mighty jealous of David Ross right about now...

vs. Toronto Blue Jays 7:07 pm Rogers Centre - Toronto, ON Canada SP: Paul Byrd vs. Shaun Marcum tv/radio: NESN - MLB.TV - WRKO

vs. Toronto Blue Jays 1:07 pm Rogers Centre - Toronto, ON Canada SP: Jon Lester vs. Jesse Litsch tv/radio: NESN - MLB.TV - WRKO