So ESPN the Magazine (and online) posted a fabulous article about Dustin Pedroia. (Yes, I realize this issue came out a week ago- but my issue, and all my other mail, was lost in the USPS forwarding black hole. So I just got it today- let's pretend it's brand new, shall we?)

Like any good Pleats profile, it is chock-full of awesome quotes. For example:

This is just one of 162. Every day is pretty much the same. It's not quite 4 o'clock, three hours before the first pitch at Fenway Park, and Dustin Pedroia is in the Red Sox dugout, ranting. "No one's going to separate us," he says to backup catcher Kevin Cash. "I'm telling you, when we win the World Series, I'll high-five everyone, but then you and me are going into the outfield, and we're going to have a fistfight. And no one's going to separate us!"

Although Pedroia keeps a straight face, Kevin Youkilis and Jason Varitek cannot. Cash just looks straight ahead and with a slight smile says, "That's fine by me, man."

Now Pedroia hops up the dugout steps and shouts in Millar's direction: "Hey, 2004 was like 20 years ago! And all you did was walk! Mariano let four fly! It was not, like, some 12-pitch at-bat!" Pedroia imitates Millar's stance in that critical Game 4 moment against the Yankees, with the Red Sox three outs away from elimination. He mimics the way Millar steps in the bucket. He does it four times. "Ball 1, Ball 2, Ball 3, Ball 4," he says. "That's all you did." Millar isn't even paying attention.

A little while later, when Orioles second baseman Brian Roberts appears, Pedroia pounds his own chest and shouts, "The strongest 160-pound player in the league, right here!" Roberts swats at the air like he's trying to shoo away a gnat as Pedroia repeats, "Right here!"

"Yeah, he's one of a kind," Roberts says. "He and I work out at the same place in Arizona in the off-season, and I've seen him call out NFL players during Ping-Pong games, asking them when they're starting Jenny Craig. He told Brady Quinn, who is a monster, a physical specimen, 'I'm going to rip this ball right off your throat.' He's a piece of work."

Figures- the one time I am pictured on ESPN, I'm turned away from the camera. I think everyone in the section was watching a very-pregnant Mrs. Theo Epstein waddle past us and onto the field.

The lovely and talented girl next to me is none other than fellow Soxmaniac J-Money, who was my brawling buddy in Cleveland for the ALCS games, and then my celebrating buddy in Denver for the World Series games. As usual, she's got a hilarious take on the situation at her place.