As Jason Bay Day rolls on, and we're counting down the hours and minutes until Sox fans get their first look at Beaker in his home whites - I'm reminded that it's never too early to pronounce snap judgments.
So before we get a chance to see Bay in action, I'm going to scrutinize every facet of his personality based purely on random photos of him found around the interwebs. It's a very scientific process.
So we know that he likes to swing his bat inside an abandoned corregated tin shed while looking off semi-wistfully into the distance. What else can we learn about Jason Bay?
Follow me after the jump, for snap judgments aplenty...
Loves his bat. We will also love his bat, provided he employs it in the Pedroia or Papi style, and not in the Varitek or Ellsbury style.
Easily confused. Cuts his hair with a weed-whacker.
Jolly.
Loves sporting spiky hair, but doesn't appear to carry the douchebaggery known to be displayed by dudes with spiky hair.
Prefers his pants to be on the baggy side. Maybe there's still a little Manny left in LF after all.
Textbook pretty swing. Succeeds at hitting despite having to wear godawful cutoff sleeve uni.
Could use some sunglasses. Jason: please proceed directly to Josh Beckett - he's got some fabulous silver ones you could borrow. If you can pry them out of his cold, dead hands, that is.
There they are! He found his sunglasses! Also: nice to kids. That's sweet.
Cleans up nicely. Looks strikingly like Beaker.
Makes for a pretty picture. Seriously.
Looks disturbingly at home in a throwback uni. Probably calls girls "dolls" and likes to jitterbug and drink bathtub gin in speakeasies.
Like David Wright and Huston Street, has a wicked case of Tongue of Concentration.
His defensive skills make his teammates jump for joy.
Doesn't mind PDA. Papi and Sean Casey will be so psyched.
Camera shy. I know, because I took this photo.
Fantastic forearms. I'm sorry. I know that is incredibly shallow of me. But it's a fact.
Will plan to challenge Dustin Pedroia for the title of "Sparsest Scruff Ever" Award.
Also, looks like he might kick your ass for suggesting his scruff is sparse.
Looks creepy when molded in plastic. Would make an excellent paperweight.
Likes Xavier Nady. We must be on the lookout to ensure he does not pass confidential information to the Yanks' clubhouse.
I officially like Jason Bay. It is impossible to dislike anyone who enjoys cupcakes that much.
Two words: NARCISSISTIC MANCHILD.
on August 1, 2008 5:38 PM
Haha I love your captions on the last pic and on the PDA pic.