Things I Don't Do

1. The wave.

2. Act unaffected by the news that Kyle Jackson was released. We'll miss you, Kyle!

3. Wear pink hats.

4. Post about players' divorces. Engagements and babies are one thing, talking about divorce or infidelity feels a little too Page Six/TMZ icky for me.*

5. Boo my team's players at the park. Not even Gagne. I'm serious.**

6. Call the season dead in August. Gary Tanguay, how could you?

7. Watch Sox Appeal.

8. OK, I confess... I do! I watch Sox Appeal! And I hate myself for it. I can't help it - I'm drawn to the trainwreck like a moth to the flame.

9. While I'm doling out confessions: even though pink gear for any team induces my gag reflex, I do wear a green Sox hat. Because I'm Irish, see? /wonders if that excuse will fly

10. The wave. Ever. Never ever ever. On this list twice for emphasis. In fact, I use it as a screening mechanism for guys I date: if they stand up to do the wave at the ballpark, I know immediately it will never work out between us. (Kids and parents with their kids are exempt from this rule, I suppose - although not at Wrigley. I wish it were so at Fenway, too.)

* Fortunately for the gossip hounds, you have the Globe for that.
** Although I did once holler "E-6" at Julio Lugo.




Comments (32)

[ mhcranberry ] says:
on August 14, 2008 2:31 PM

Amen, sister. Amen.



[ Adam ] says:
on August 14, 2008 2:31 PM

Theres nothing wrong with booing players. Gagne and E-6 have it coming



[ mhcranberry ] says:
on August 14, 2008 2:36 PM

Adam-- wow, you're THAT guy.

Congrats.

I hope someone shows up at your job and boos you.



[ starr4 ] says:
on August 14, 2008 2:51 PM

Amen to the amen.

Tho' I got heckled, and heckled back, when I cheered Josh Hamilton last night. Love his comeback from adversity, and his hustle in games. Yeah, Josh!



[ mhcranberry ] says:
on August 14, 2008 2:53 PM

Heckling is one thing, booing is another.

I think cheering for a player you like, no matter what team they play for, go ahead on it. i mean, come on, that's a cool thing to do. starr, I would not have heckled you for that.

Both fc and I were there last night, by the way. Good game.



[ Texas Gal ] says:
on August 14, 2008 3:03 PM

Heckling is awesome.

Unless it's (a) stupid or (b) grossly over-vulgar. Then the heckler deserves to get heckled himself.

Booing (your own players) is a whole 'nother story.



[ beth ] says:
on August 14, 2008 3:03 PM

i booed edgar renteria. it's true.

people don't have to show up and boo us regular folks at our jobs - we don't have guaranteed contracts no matter how terribly we perform. i'm sure if you knew the chick at mcdonald's was guaranteed a high salary no matter how badly she botched your Filet-O-Fish, you'd have something to say about it. maybe not "boo" but your displeasure would be apparent.

not saying what i did wth edgar was right or that that's what i would do if i had another chance. but i also think that the booing reaction is sometimes understandable.



[ Texas Gal ] says:
on August 14, 2008 3:08 PM

I almost think heckling (your own players) in certain situations can be acceptable - because you're giving a specific player a specific criticism.

Booing (your own players), however, is a general statement of disapproval/hatred - and you may be booing the player for one thing, while it appears as though you're booing him for something else. Are you booing him for his attitude, or are you booing him for failing to get a basehit? Or because you're a close-minded drunk jerkwad who knows nothing about the game?

Also, the other players on the field are the collateral recipients of the boos, and that sucks.



[ Texas Gal ] says:
on August 14, 2008 3:10 PM

I keep saying (your own players) because obviously booing the other team's players is awesome. Throwing batteries is awesome-r (for Philly).



[ Kara ] says:
on August 14, 2008 3:17 PM

/3. Wear pink hats./

I own two Pedroia shirts, both pink. Every member of my family seems to think that because I'm a girl, I must love all the pink memorabilia.

I think I might fork over a ridiculous amount of money to buy myself either a blue or a red Dusty shirt at the game tonight. I can't stand not supporting my favorite player any longer.



[ caryn ] says:
on August 14, 2008 3:22 PM

there's nothing like a game where you've got RISP and 2 outs and David Wright is at the plate...

...and some dorkweed in Section 42 starts the wave.

...and when people round about section 10 stop participating, everyone BOOS.

because that's what you want to be doing at that very moment.

omg i hate the wave. i hate it with a fiery passion. i hate people who say they hate the wave but do it anyway.

you know where you can do the wave? in a european or south american soccer stadium. GO THERE



[ caryn ] says:
on August 14, 2008 3:23 PM

oh, please explain:

THE KELLY GREEN JOHAN SANTANA JERSEY

...because when I think Johan Santana, I think - Dublin



[ Jessi ] says:
on August 14, 2008 3:42 PM

Totally agree with number four. I feel so bad for Tek. I hate that I go to the Globe to look for sports news, and instead end up reading how Tek is filing for divorce.

Oh and I will never ever do the wave or wear a pink hat - way too corny. Nor would I ever boo a player. It's not like booing someone is gonna make them play better.



[ Lindsay ] says:
on August 14, 2008 4:34 PM

I dont have a pink hat but I definately do have pink Sox items; and I'm not going to deny that. If you like pink, and you like the Sox; why not put your 2 favorite things together? Your still supporting your team; who cares about the color? I personally feel that if you know about your team, that you have every right to wear pink. I do however dislike the people that know absolutely nothing the Red Sox (or baseball for that matter) and only purchase pink Sox gear because they think it is "cute" and it is "the thing to do" since they live in Boston.

As for the booing, I agree with you Tex. Booing is only acceptable in certain situations. For example booing Lugo because he bobbles a routine grounder...several times in 1 game.



[ Lindsay ] says:
on August 14, 2008 4:36 PM

As for the wave, I dont do it either....unless I'm with my dad and I want to embarrass him because he HATES the wave.



[ Ellen ] says:
on August 14, 2008 4:36 PM

When we went to Fenway in July I had to stop my husband from doing the wave. I told him that as a family we disapprove of it.

And I don't get booing your own players. It's not as if they want to perform badly. I'm sure they hope they end up the hero of the game and when it doesn't go so well, I always am sympathetic. I felt bad for Timlin last night.



[ Jennie ] says:
on August 14, 2008 6:20 PM

I heart the wave and I'm not afraid to admit it. I don't do the pink stuff though.



[ ecl1958 ] says:
on August 14, 2008 6:30 PM

Gotta disagree about the gossip -- I happen to like it because I'm nosey like that (so sue me!), although sometimes it takes serious digging to find it.

I would never boo ANY player -- on my team or the opponents. Just isn't my style.

Have never actually been to a game so have never done the wave...I also don't wear pink if I can help it, and I don't usually wear hats of any kind, so that settles that.

I get very upset when my baseball boyfriends get gone. I have a sneaking and very sad suspicion that there will be none for me on next year's roster. :::goes and sulks in the corner:::



[ fc ] says:
on August 14, 2008 7:23 PM

The wave is insipid. And I have yet to be at a Sox game and feel the need to entertain myself.

ecl, you don't wear pink if you can help it? Do pink garments have a habit of flinging themselves upon your helpless frame?

And NO booing your own. Not Gagne, not Manny at the end, and nuh-uh Lindsay, not Lugo even after multiple errors. Cringing, yes; booing, no.



[ ecl1958 ] says:
on August 14, 2008 8:20 PM

:::cracking up at fc:::

People tell me I look good in pink, but I find it...insipid. Too "girly" for me. I much prefer red or black or both. Or purple. Strong colors. No, pink doesn't fling itself at me, but the only time I wear something pink is if, for example, my sister gives me a pink sweater for Christmas. Then I feel like I really should wear the thing.



[ Adam ] says:
on August 15, 2008 12:50 AM

when the players are making millions of dollars, and I have to pay a $100 just to get into a game, I will boo as much as I feel like it.



[ Adam ] says:
on August 15, 2008 12:55 AM

Maybe winning results in less booing. But don't try to say that "oh he's trying hard, don't boo him." That is just utter nonsense. If someone paid me millions of dollars to play a sport and I sucked, I would expect the boos.



[ Texas Gal ] says:
on August 15, 2008 1:02 AM

Boo all you like. I will continue to judge you harshly for it, though.



[ Kim ] says:
on August 15, 2008 9:10 AM

Add not talking on your cell while at the game. What's up with those people?

"Hi I'm an idiot at a Red Sox game ... on my cell ... look at me on TV" *waves like a dolt*

Please GO AWAY!



[ Dave ] says:
on August 15, 2008 1:59 PM

I couldn't possibly agree with this list more. Hate the pink hats, loathe the wave, hate Sox Appeal...but have watched it for the same train wreck effect. I'm also staunchly against booing your own home team players. That's wrong in every single case except one...lack of effort. In my book, if they don't hustle or try hard then all bets are off and booing is fair game!



[ Katie ] says:
on August 15, 2008 3:16 PM

I didn't mind the wave until I wen to my first game at fenway and the wave went aroun 18 times. I've despised it ever since



[ GozerTDestructor ] says:
on August 15, 2008 6:43 PM

I also cannot boo the home team... even when it was Gagne. And I shall boo him heartily every time I see him from now on, so I got that going for me. I bought pink Sox Apparel for my infant niece... and am not proud of it. I'm a guy though, and don't think I'm allowed to watch Sox Appeal. Thank goodness. Great list!



[ Extra P ] says:
on August 15, 2008 8:00 PM

I get pissed when people should "YOU SUCK!", because, clearly - empirically even - one cannot truly suck and make it to the majors.

Though I was mighty tempted with Elijah Dukes, since he sucks as a human being.



[ Lindsay ] says:
on August 20, 2008 1:59 AM

As for the booing, I have never actually booed a player. I may say "are you friggin kidding me?" or something like that, but I honestly have never "booed" a player.

So am I still "booing" them if I say "are you friggin kidding me?"



[ beth ] says:
on August 26, 2008 12:01 PM

//close-minded drunk jerkwad who knows nothing about the game//

hey, i'm just being honest, because i have been that person. was using my example to illustrate that sometimes, frustration just spills over, no matter who you are.

frankly i'm pretty tired of the fact that everyone seems to want to distance themselves from other fans these days. everybody wants to point out how they're better than the pink hats, or people who boo, or people who publish links to mrs. masterson's blog. everybody's better than everybody else, because they know more about numbers, because they played themselves, because they personally know a ballplayer, because they don't do the wave, because they don't get drunk at ballgames...etc.

i'm sick of it. sometimes people boo. sometimes people get drunk and do stupid things in public. not everybody's going to a game to score every play. some people think the wave is fun. what is the big deal here?



[ Texas Gal ] says:
on August 26, 2008 2:33 PM

I don't think I'm better than anyone. I've never tried to tell anyone what to do, or proclaimed that my way of watching the games is the right way.

All I did is state what *I* do. I happen to think the wave is stupid, booing is juvenile and pink hats are ugly. Others don't- hooray for them, they're free to do and act as they please. And I'm free to mock them for doing the wave.

America: you're free to act like an idiot, and the rest of us are free to point and laugh.



[ Soozse ] says:
on August 28, 2008 9:08 PM

It is impossible to do the wave while holding a beer, therefore totally not happening.




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