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Fantasy Sox

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: God bless Dan Roche. Besides gifting us with the awesomeness that is the annual spring training Cookie Off, he always makes sure and supplies Sox fans with all kinds of random bits of killer info. To wit: the following video detailing the ins and outs of the Red Sox Fantasy Football Draft, in which we learn-

1. Don Orsillo was granted the honor of being the emcee - and was also given three rookies (Jed Lowrie, Justin Masterson and Jacoby Ellsbury) to do his bidding and work the draft board. (This draft board, in fact, which was flown to the team on the road.)

2. But Orsillo needs to stick with baseball, because he is horrible at pronouncing NFL names and doesn't know a thing about positions.

3. Somehow Kevin Cash and Dustin Pedroia ended up managing a team together... and drafted Cedric Benson. PHENOMENAL. (and by "phenomenal", I mean "laughable) Of course, they also drafted Tony Romo and T.O. and call themselves "America's Team", which is legitimately phenomenal.

4. Sean Casey is willing to spend big bucks to call on the services of a mystery man to assist him in his draft. 2 1/2 hours of roaming charges on the phone. IN CANADA. (the team drafted while on the road in Toronto)

5. Jonathan Papelbon's strategy is apparently to draft guys who are in prison to his "Team Thugs".

6. Alex Cora dumped Mike Lowell as a draft partner. He also attempted to draft a team full of Miami Hurricanes (his alma mater)... but they were mostly all in prison. He went, instead, with a team name of "The Islanders". Because he's from Puerto Rico. Which is an island.

7. Sean Casey is SCREWED. I bet you can guess who he drafted at QB.

video courtesy of WBZ

This video also marks the debut of Papelbon's Cinco Ocho's new fashion line.

I get the feeling Jonathan blames "Cinco Ocho" anytime something goes wrong. Didn't do the dishes? Cinco Ocho's fault. Forgot to mow the lawn? Cinco Ocho did it.

Comments (19)

[ jules ] says:
on September 8, 2008 11:54 AM

Perfect way to start a Moanday.

[ mhcranberry ] says:
on September 8, 2008 12:13 PM

Oh god. Football. One guess as to why I'm sitting glumly at my desk listening to emo crap on my iPod...

Cedric Benson cracked me up. What are they THINKING?

And did you catch where Mills and Farrell chose Jay Cutler in the 3rd round? Cora said that was "the worst pick in the history of fantasy football".

Ok. Enough laughter for now. Heartbreak rules the day... at least until I get to Fenway tonight. Then me and my friend have agreed not to talk about it.

[ mhcranberry ] says:
on September 8, 2008 12:19 PM

By the way-- anyone else wonder why Paps called Cinco Ocho a "prude"?

Maybe poor word choice?

Also, major props to Rochie. He's really good at his job-- those guys are SO relaxed around him--everyone involved knows how goofy the premise is. Good editing, good interviewing. Major kudos to a great professional. Lucky to have him.

[ joyosity ] says:
on September 8, 2008 12:54 PM

LOL, Cora is awesome.

[ April ] says:
on September 8, 2008 1:04 PM

I loved how Alex Cora laughed most of the time. Hilarious.

And Casey has to pay all those roaming charges. nice.

[ jenny again ] says:
on September 8, 2008 1:23 PM

Favorite moment? The pan over to Pedey, just sitting there, chillin', listening in on AC. Then, later, when Pedey shoves his hand at the camera so as to take away the embarrassment that is his team with Cashie. Good times!

[ Anonymous ] says:
on September 8, 2008 2:07 PM

justin masterson = mr clean?

[ Adam ] says:
on September 8, 2008 2:38 PM

That was epic. Cedric Benson hahaha. All players from Da U in jail, hilarious. That made my day

[ Twinkie ] says:
on September 8, 2008 2:54 PM

I know next to nothing about football, but this is so hilarious! All of AC's boys are in prison! HAHA! And poor Casey. *hugs*

Laughing my ass off about the Cash/Pedroia team. Pedey will probably use Cedric Benson as a legit reason to fistfight Cashie, and is probably why Cashie ended up being the team spokesman. Which I love so much on it's own. Sweetheart needs more camera time. Excellent...

[ Jane ] says:
on September 8, 2008 3:07 PM

This was brilliant. Thank you, Texy!

[ Mac ] says:
on September 8, 2008 5:03 PM

This is brilliant. I know nothing about football, but this is just brilliant.

[ Karen ] says:
on September 8, 2008 7:01 PM

That was hillarious. I really wonder about Paps, he is an odd duck.
I don't get fantasy sports, someone will have to explain it to me someday.

[ Liza ] says:
on September 8, 2008 7:06 PM

That was magnificent. Thank you, TG (and Dan Roche. But TG for pointing it out).

[ anne ] says:
on September 8, 2008 8:27 PM

the fact that cashie and pedey are like BFF just makes me so happy. there was a story a few weeks ago about how pedey wears a cash t-shirt for BP or something. love.

[ Mark ] says:
on September 8, 2008 9:35 PM

This is too funny!

I can't believe they are still giving Ellsbury the "rookie" treatment!

(PS - I think I've found a new favorite Sox blog)

[ SoxPhan ] says:
on September 9, 2008 12:22 AM

Oh to be a fly on the wall during that fantasy draft...

A sad--Sean Casey haz one :-(

Also: HALF A GAME BACK. WOOOOO-HOOOOOO!

[ Twinkie ] says:
on September 9, 2008 3:49 PM

Anne, do you remember where you saw that? I'd love to read it!

[ dakota ] says:
on September 10, 2008 8:46 PM

really funny, cora was a good narrator and the perdoia cash team cracked me up.

[ Mrena ] says:
on October 28, 2008 12:02 PM

Interesting to know.

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