It had been two weeks since the folks at Fremulon Insurance had posted any updates. I thought maybe they just had a post-Series hangover. But we're all going to have to wait a lot longer for more FJM posts.

[insert somber, funeral procession appropriate music here]

R.I.P. FJM.

You know, I'm starting to think this is personal.

After receiving three rounds of these rejection emails last year, two (so far) this year, and never making it out of a single virtual waiting room for the last bajillion years, I'm starting to think the Red Sox have something against me. Except that I'm on their Christmas card list! And they won last year with me at the games!

There's only one way to make this up to me, Red Sox: season tickets. Or another world championship. Or both.

1. The wave.

2. Act unaffected by the news that Kyle Jackson was released. We'll miss you, Kyle!

3. Wear pink hats.

4. Post about players' divorces. Engagements and babies are one thing, talking about divorce or infidelity feels a little too Page Six/TMZ icky for me.*

5. Boo my team's players at the park. Not even Gagne. I'm serious.**

6. Call the season dead in August. Gary Tanguay, how could you?

7. Watch Sox Appeal.

8. OK, I confess... I do! I watch Sox Appeal! And I hate myself for it. I can't help it - I'm drawn to the trainwreck like a moth to the flame.

9. While I'm doling out confessions: even though pink gear for any team induces my gag reflex, I do wear a green Sox hat. Because I'm Irish, see? /wonders if that excuse will fly

10. The wave. Ever. Never ever ever. On this list twice for emphasis. In fact, I use it as a screening mechanism for guys I date: if they stand up to do the wave at the ballpark, I know immediately it will never work out between us. (Kids and parents with their kids are exempt from this rule, I suppose - although not at Wrigley. I wish it were so at Fenway, too.)

* Fortunately for the gossip hounds, you have the Globe for that.
** Although I did once holler "E-6" at Julio Lugo.

Today and tomorrow mark the return of the annual WEEI/NESN Jimmy Fund Telethon to benefit the Jimmy Fund and the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. Last year, they raised $3.74 million- and the Telethon has raised nearly $12 million since it started back in 2002.

I'm not one to push charitable causes on anyone - charity is meaningless if it's forced, it has to come from the heart. But I'm more than willing to shill a little for the Jimmy Fund - because it's for sick kids, and therefore I am honor bound to shill away on their behalf.

If you'd like to donate, you can do so online right here - the minimum donation level they've got listed is just $10. You can also call into the phone lines at (877) 738-1234 if you are so inclined.

In which I highlight noteworthy blogs for you to gather reconnaissance on the Red Sox upcoming opponent. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Lone Star Ball: SBN site that's updated daily with all the latest news & happenings Girls Don't Know Anything About Baseball: the Rangers from a female perspective, loaded with humor A Lonestar In California: fantastic, in-depth analysis on the Rangers from the left coast Baseball Time In Arlington: MVN network site, loaded with news and great feature pieces

In which I highlight noteworthy blogs for you to gather reconnaissance on the Red Sox upcoming opponent. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Lookout Landing: SBN network site, chock full of news and analysis - with a twist of humor Bleeding Blue and Teal: another great news and rumors Mariners source U.S.S. Mariner: a constantly updated, and quite witty, look at the M's Mariners Blog: written by Geoff Baker of the Seattle Times - very Rob Bradford-esque

In which I highlight noteworthy blogs for you to gather reconnaissance on the Red Sox upcoming opponent. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Astros Dugout: MVN network site, chock full of news and analysis - with a twist of humor Crawfish Boxes: premier SBN site that's updated daily with all the latest news & happenings I Remember Dome Dogs: two devoted Stros fans pontificate on all things Astro Spikes n Stars: formerly OrangeWhoopass, kickass Astros fan community with blog and messageboard

Baseball vs. Football has never been so clearly defined - or so funny - as when Carlin did it.

In which I highlight noteworthy blogs for you to gather reconnaissance on the Red Sox upcoming opponent. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

AZ Snakepit: SBN site that's updated daily with all the latest news & happenings Chicks Dig The Long Ball: the Dbacks from a female perspective, and loaded with humor Diamondhacks: insightful analysis on the Dbacks - and on baseball in general Out In The Desert: MVN network site, news and analysis with a twist of humor

In which I highlight noteworthy blogs for you to gather reconnaissance on the Red Sox upcoming opponent. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Rockin' The Red: insightful analysis on the Cards, and timely news updates Fungoes: a look at the Cardinals from a sabermetrics point of view Viva El Birdos: SBN site that's updated daily with all the latest news & happenings Cardinals Diaspora: not just your average news site - the Cards with a twist of humor

In which I highlight noteworthy blogs for you to gather reconnaissance on the Red Sox upcoming opponent. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Beer Leaguer: premier Phillies site - super-quick with news, fantastic game threads and extremely knowledgeable commenters The 700 Level: Enrico's blog covers the Iggles and Sixers and Flyers as well, but his Phillies work is genius - it's very "Red Sox Monster"-ish with funny news bits and videos The Sexy Crimes: two guys from Canada explore their man-crush on Pat Burrell - wickedly funny Plunk Chutley: hilarious blog about random Phillies ephemera- and the best Phils blog around (I may be biased since Clare is a good friend of mine... but that doesn't make me wrong)

Remember when we wondered what exactly the State Farm and MLB folks were going to do with their cool Call Your Shot promotion when Big Papi went down with an injury? Wonder no more- they've implemented a backup plan to make sure the promotion rolls on- except now instead of David Ortiz, you get to pick a spot for TWO of the Home Run Derby participants to hit a ball to.

State Farm and Major League Baseball have partnered to launch the Call Your Shot consumer promotion taking place the State Farm Home Run Derby. Here's how the promotion works: Fans can enter the promotion daily through June 24 at www.sfCallYourShot.com/2008. The grand prize winner of Call Your Shot will win:

* All-expense paid trip for four to the All-Star Game and State Farm Home Run Derby
* First class hotel accommodations in New York
* Tickets to a Broadway show
* $1,000 MasterCard gift card

The grand prize winner will also get the chance to pick a spot where two of the Home Run Derby players must compete to try to hit a ball to. If the first player hits the ball to the called spot, the promotion ends. If either player succeeds, the fan receives a 2008 Chevrolet Tahoe hybrid vehicle and a 2009 season-ticket package for any team.

Additionally, 10 fans will win first place prizes consisting of a $300 MLB.com gift card and 25 second prize winners will receive $100 MLB.com gift cards.

You can register for the contest here until next Tuesday... good luck!

In which I highlight noteworthy blogs for you to gather reconnaissance on the Red Sox upcoming opponent. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Red Hot Mama: the Reds from a female perspective, and loaded with humor Church of Baseball: sermons on the Reds and baseball, delivered with a wink & grin Red Reporter: SBN site that's updated daily with all the latest news & happenings Redleg Nation: insightful analysis on the Twins, and timely news updates

In which I highlight noteworthy blogs for you to gather reconnaissance on the Red Sox upcoming opponent. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Twins Geek: insightful analysis on the Twins, and timely news updates Lipgloss & Baseball: the Twins from a female perspective, and loaded with humor Twinkie Town: SBN site that's updated daily with all the latest news & happenings On The Road: pitcher Pat Neshek's personal site, where he talks about life in baseball

In which I highlight noteworthy blogs for you to gather reconnaissance on the Red Sox upcoming opponent. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

DRays Bay: SBN Rays site with daily open game threads and up-to-date news Rays Index: tons of news and info in a beautifully designed format (with a sense of humor) Rays of Light: covering all the DRays bases- news and game threads The Heater: insider's blog by sportswriter from the St. Pete Times

Thank the heavens exhibition games don't count, eh?

I've been alternately packing up my entire house in Chicago, a bridesmaid in a wedding in Kansas City, and on a cross-country trek to Boston, so I haven't been able to catch much of the action - but the box scores have spoken volumes. I just don't see this team winning more than 75 ballgames this season. I don't even think they'll finish second in the East- we'll be lucky to get third behind the Yankees and Blue Jays, if not fourth behind the Rays.

I'm also sick of Josh Beckett's bellyaching. "Waaah! My back hurts!" Get over it, wimp. And on the subject of pitchers, I'm similarly sick of Jonathan Papelbon, period. The dancing and the mugging and the horsing around and the scrabble. It's tired, Paps - no one finds you entertaining (except Yankee fans, who love you). And JESUS, Manny and Papi-- when will you two ever get with the program and start producing at the plate?

Wow, it feels good to admit all that. And I suppose it's time to reveal another thing: I stopped in Buffalo last night as the halfway point on my drive to Boston, and I adore it so much I've decided to stay.

One last confession:

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1. Buy booze - preferably vodka for bloody marys and/or champagne for mimosas.
2. Set alarm clock for 4:00 am - sucks to be in the Central timezone!
3. Invite baseball-crazed friends over for the gamewatch. Thank the gods you're not the only insane one getting up early.
4. Wake up, trudge to the TV and turn on NESN's pregame show.
5. WAIT A MINUTE. Why isn't NESN showing up? Why is DirecTV "searching for signal"? HOLY CRAP.
6. Call DirecTV. After waiting on hold forever, get told by automated message that they're "aware of the problem", "wait times are long" to speak to customer service, and to call back another time. Get hung up on by DirecTV.
7. Try to calm self down by reminding self that game is on ESPN2.
8. WAIT A MINUTE. Why isn't ESPN2 showing up?
9. Begin to freak out.
10. Try to calm self down by reminding self that game is on MLB.TV.
11. WAIT A MINUTE. Why is MLB.TV blacked out?
12. Freak out in full effect.
13. Frantically keep changing channel back and forth from NESN to ESPN2 in hopes one or the other starts to work. Neither one starts to work.
14. Greet guests arriving to watch the game with the news that there might be no game to watch. Everyone starts to question their decision to get up at 4:00 am for a game they cannot watch.
15. Call local Red Sox bar - find out, to great relief, that they are open to show the game.
16. WAIT A MINUTE. Local Red Sox bar also has DirecTV, and same problem.
17. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck.
18. Brilliant guest at party remembers your Dad back in Texas has a slingbox... and regular cable. Try to contain rising excitement. Start up SlingPlayer.
19. Buffering.... (crossing fingers!)
20. WE HAVE PICTURE! WE HAVE SOUND! WE HAVE BAYSBAWL!

Sure, it was tiny baseball on a computer screen being broadcast off of ESPN2 from Houston... but who's complaining? It's better than nothing. I'm sorry I wasn't able to join in the live thread madness, since we were using my computer to watch the game (grumble, grumble) - but I'm psyched to see everyone had fun anyway.

The good news is: after this week, I won't have to worry about DirecTV anymore - I'll be getting NESN on local cable. That's right... I'm moving to Boston. My movers come Thursday, and after a weekend jump to Kansas City to be in a wedding, I'm making the thousand-mile drive to New England. I'm gonna be a local, y'all!

Oh, and I almost forgot the most important step in hosting an Opening Day Party:

21. Collapse in exhaustion after 10 innings of nervousness and drinking. Sleep for 3 hours.

In which I highlight noteworthy blogs for you to gather reconnaissance on the Red Sox upcoming opponent. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Athletics Nation: premier A's blog with all the latest info, rumors and breaking news Catfish Stew: all the latest news and notes on the team, plus great features Athletic Supporters: the A's MVN page, chock full of news and analysis The Bullpen Baker: coolest sports blog idea ever- she bakes cookies for the A's bullpen and posts the recipes

Night game tonight (gates open at 4:30 - which means about 3 hours of boozing at the tiki hut in left field before the game even starts!), so you're getting a photo from the last game.

MVP! MVP! MVP!

Also, a bonus story:

At the Phillies-Pirates game on Monday, the number of Philly fans who traveled to the game easily outnumbered the number of Pirates fans at their own home ballpark. Since the Phillies got creamed, and Pirates fans are apparently either (a) lethargic, or (b) absent, it was a fairly quiet ballpark. But in the 8th inning, a little kid (probably about 5 or so) decided he could turn the tide for the Phightins, and started hollering "Let's - Go - Phil - lies", with the appropriate pause for the "clap-clap-clapclapclap" afterwards. He did this about 5 or 6 times in a row, and I turned to my friend and said "Over/under on him hitting 35 times in a row without stopping". She took the over - and it's a good thing, because we stopped counting after he hit 100. He kept it up through the rest of the 8th and the 9th inning, solid. Did not stop, did not take a breath. Eventually, I think even the (few) Pirates fans in attendance joined in the "clap-clap-clapclapclap"ing out of a mixture of annoyance and awe.

Happy ending: even though the Phils lost (boo!), Wes Helms walked up after the game and gave the kid both of his batting gloves.

For everyone who's looking for a home during today's ST game, Ian at Sox and Dawgs is doing an open thread!

Because it is the God-given right of folks down on the sunny beaches of Florida to brag about the view and the weather, here is the view of Clearwater Beach I'm looking out at as I sit on the balcony of my hotel room writing this post:

Today was my first off-day -- no game! -- so I have time to give you not one, not two, but three random spring training photos.

First up, RyHo - grinning at me for the picture.

And demonstrating his cool ball trick.

Pirates bullpen: Bad bullpen or The Worst bullpen? McKechnie Field in Bradenton is actually fairly new - did no one think to include a bullpen-type area in the plans? They just have the pitchers sitting in little folding stools out on the outfield wall in RF and LF. Then when a ball is hit that way (which happens about once an inning), all the pitchers pick up their stools and go running.

And just so those of you back up North in the cold environs feel a tad better - it is torture to be down here and not get to see any of the games on TV. We get all our updates at night on the sportsticker on ESPN in the bars. That's no way to live.

Jays vs. Phillies, Clearwater Florida.

Phillies got shelled in the second- and it was Scott Rolen (the Philly fans' favorite ballplayer to boo) who started it off with the first hit. You know it's a bad inning when the team bats around and you have to move over and start a new column on your scorecard to keep scoring that same inning.

Off to Bradenton today - I really hope that Doug Mientkiewiczisytzxsk gets some playing time. I can feel a good heckle coming on.

It's not exactly as scenic as City of Palms, huh?

Notice that the scourge of the Yankees is encroaching in the lower corner of the photo. Thankfully, he was not sitting anywhere near me - so I didn't have to get up and move away from him.

I'm taking it as a personal shout-out, that MLB has this ad popping up all over the place on its website.

I mean, COME ON. The Sox, the Cubs AND the Phillies? All in the green of my people? MLB totally loves me. And also recognizes that I'm a sucker for any merchandise with a shamrock on it.

Regular readers around here know of my (embarrassing) devotion to Fire Joe Morgan. I've written about their work several times, and even named them a collective Baseball Boyfriend of the Day for their hilarious ripping to shreds of shitty arguments baseball writers use to support their Cooperstown nominations. I have yet to read a post over there that didn't cause me to nearly pee my pants with laughter- and I am not exaggerating there. The fact that the guys who write FJM are all Red Sox fans just made them that much cooler.

Up until now, though, the writers have all been completely anonymous. No one knew who they were or where they were or what they did.

But now, consider my mind officially blown because they revealed their identities this week... and Ken Tremendous, FJM writer extraordinaire (and Sox fan), is Mose from The Office. That's right, the writer behind my favorite blog is a the co-executive producer and writer on my favorite show on television.

It's like the universe suddenly all seems to make sense. Of course my favorite blog and my favorite TV show and my favorite team are all connected. Of course!

Seriously- if my previous proselytizing hasn't gotten you over to read FJM before now, I'm making one last empassioned plea: You must read Fire Joe Morgan. If you are a baseball fan, you need FJM like the desert needs the rain. Trust me on this.

Gather round, folks- and settle in for a long day of waiting around, with nothing to look at but the ever-refreshing Virtual Waiting Room screen. As long as we're all in the same boat, we might as well share the boredom together.

So feel free to use the comments on this post to talk about whatever you'd like - share your success stories getting tickets, or your frustrations. Talk about the Sox or baseball in general. Or give us your thoughts on last night's episode of Friday Night Lights- or discuss who has the better wardrobe: Blair or Serena. Anything's fair game!

Here's some conversation topics to think about: let's talk National League (since I have a feeling that once the season starts, the talk in the Sox world will be almost exclusively AL). Which NL club do you think will be playing in the 2008 World Series? Who do you think will win the NL East: Mets, Phillies or Braves? Which NL pitcher will snag the '08 Cy Young- will it be Webb or Peavy or Haren... or will it be someone else entirely? What club will end up with the worst record in the NL?

Baseball Digest Daily contacted me (and Randy Booth from Over The Monster) to participate in a roundtable discussion about the future of the Red Sox- including thoughts on the Santana trade, longterm contracts for Youkilis and Francona, exercising Manny's contract option, Varitek's role, and Julio Lugo's future at shortstop.

You can read the full discussion here - but I've also included my answers below.

Thanks to Baseball Digest Daily for inviting me to be a part of a roundtable discussion with such interesting questions- and thanks also for not including a lame, completely recycled question, like asking us to compare Clay Buchholz with Joba Chamberlain or Ian Kennedy.

What are your thoughts on these same questions?

Question 1: Are you prepared to give either or both Jacoby Ellsbury or Jon Lester in addition to other prospects in order to obtain Johan Santana?

I'm greedy - I want them all. Is that so much to ask?

My thoughts on the Santana Situation^TM have run the gamut this offseason. In the afterglow of the World Series victory, I couldn't bear the thought of parting ways with Lester or Ellsbury. But I came to my senses when I realized I was entirely too emotionally attached to contemplate losing anyone on that team (except Gagne - I would have personally paid someone to take him off our hands... thanks Brewers!) It was that blinding glare off the shiny, shiny World Series trophy! It was clouding my rational judgment!

Afterglow aside, I am now prepared to give up Lester. I admire and respect him and appreciate what he has done for the Sox, but of course I'm prepared to deal him for an ace. I have even managed to prepare myself to give up Ellsbury, although I don't prefer to. But I am not yet prepared to give up both Ellsbury and Lester in the same package to obtain Santana. If Theo can nab Santana for a Lester, Lowrie, Masterson and Crisp package- I will be thrilled. But not both prospects. Not unless there's some kind of creative 5-2 swap.

Ultimately, I want Santana in Boston home whites - but if not, I want to minimize the collateral damage. Ideally, that means he ends up on a crappy non-contender (a crappy non-contender in the NL would be perfect), or stays with the Twins in '08 and goes to FA at the end of the year. But if he ends up on a contender like the Mets, I would be satisfied. Or maybe "relieved" is a better word.

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It's time for my semi-regular update on the 1986 Toronto Blue Jays- the team with the coolest mustaches in the game. For a refresher course, I posted about how I got roped into The Sporting News project 1986: Take Two here. J-Money and I also got together and conducted a very serious (if by serious, you mean "not serious at all") study of the '86 Jays and posted our findings over at The Sporting News-- and also here.

The power of Rance Mullinik's Marvelous Mustache continues - because my Toronto Blue Jays are rolling over the competition in the AL East at The Sporting News: 1986 Take Two. The Jays are sitting in first place in their division, with the best record (40-21) in the entire American League. That's right, the only team in the entire project managed by girls is beating the pants off of everyone else. (except the Padres- and we're gunning for you, Friars!) Hey, I gotta enjoy this view from the top while it lasts, ok?

I can't say the same pattern of total domination (hyperbole is awesome when you're winning) is occurring over in the Red Sox camp-- Curt Schilling's guys have only built up a 27-34 record, and are in 5th place in the division. At that rate, Boston will not have to worry about a repeat of the Buckner nightmare, because they won't be anywhere near the World Series.

Besides MY BLUE JAYS, you know who else was awesome in 1986:

Any excuse to post that classic is one I'm going to capitalize on. That clip never gets old.

We're still a few hours away from midnight here in the continental US (though our friends overseas are already well into 2008 already) - so the New Year is just around the corner.

I've added a new feature to the sidebar for the new year: a calendar to keep track of important Sox dates and events (that replaces the rather boring list format that was there before). When your mouse rolls across a date, you'll get a popup window with the details -- and the days are color-coded by event (red for games, green for front office dates, blue for appearances, etc). To close a popup, just click on/roll over the "x" in the upper right corner. If you know of any Sox events that aren't on the calendar, drop me an email!

Stay safe tonight - but have tons of fun - and I'll see you all in 2008 with a big ol' New Year's post!

I am so very sorry, Dustin - but I must say that I hope you will be in pain tonight, crying your eyes out in misery. Because that will mean your Arizona State Sun Devils will have taken a nosedive against my Texas Longhorns in the Holiday Bowl... and nothing would make me happier than that.

Hook 'Em Horns!

EDIT: Yeehaw!! Texas 52 - Arizona State 34
(and that's even with the head coach's stepson almost farking the game up for us completely)

Dustin - as the winner, I will accept the spoils of victory from you, as the loser, in the form of Red Sox game tickets and/or merchandise.

A very Merry Christmas to each and every one of you who celebrate this holiday today - and for those of you celebrating other holidays (or not at all!), let me substitute in a wish for a happy holiday season and wintertime instead. There's no snow on the ground here in the boonies outside Houston, but it always feels like Christmas anyway when there are carols playing, and hot chocolate brewing.

Hopefully Santa was good to everyone - he sure knew just what to bring me this year (RED SOX STUFF, OF COURSE). I would love to hear what Sox-ian gifts everyone got this season!

And I want to take a moment to thank all of y'all for helping to make this year so special for me. I am constantly cracking up at the witty and funny comments around here - and learning a bunch about baseball and our team at the same time. And you'll never know how much those emails you send mean to me as well -- whether it's a quick little note about some news item you ran across that interested you, or a picture of Josh Beckett, or kind words about the blog. I cannot overstate how much fun it is to hear from y'all- I am tickled pink every time. I am always available to talk Red Sox or baseball or sports, period- so feel free to email anytime (just forgive me if I'm slow to respond!). I am so very thankful to have such a great group of readers... I can't wait to see what 2008 brings!

Like most folks, I spent the majority of yesterday waiting in the Virtual Waiting Room trying to snag some Red Sox tickets, and came away completely emptyhanded. After 10+ hours of mind-numbing, soul-killing fruitless waiting, I've come to the conclusion that the waiting room to hell must look a lot like the Red Sox VWR.

And as Beth pointed out, take a closer look at what these Sox Pax are spelling out. I'm sure this no coincidence...

And to everyone lucky enough to get tickets: hooray and congratulations for outlasting the gauntlet of the Waiting Room From Hell. For the sanity of everyone who got nothing, please do not complain about how long you had to wait, or that you "just" got bleacher seats for Opening Day and Patriots Day Sox Pax, or how you "only" got the TGIF and Saturday Sox Pax. I would have been happy just to get one pair of tickets to one Tampa Bay game. Damn you, VWR!

At least some kids had fun during the ticket waiting yesterday- during the Christmas At Fenway event, Tito "Don't Call Me Coach, I'm the Manager" Francona gave some kids a mic and a chance to ask him questions:

A boy dressed in Red Sox attire asked the two-time champion skipper if the team would trade for Santana.

"Is Theo [Epstein]coming up here to answer questions?" Francona wondered. "You should save that one for him. If I answer that, I could get in trouble."

Another child asked why he wanted to trade rookie sensation Ellsbury.

"Again, ask Theo," Francona said. "I bet that one came from your parents."

The last question asked was by a little boy who wanted to know who Francona's favorite player was.

"Whoever is playing better that night," he said jokingly.

So our Blue Jays are moving along swimmingly over at The Sporting News' 1986: Take Two project, fueled largely I'm sure by the awesome moustaches our Jays players sport. Can you believe... our Jays are in SECOND PLACE? We're ahead of the Yankees AND the Curt Schilling-managed Red Sox. It's the power of the moustache.

I posted about how I got roped in for this thing by the fine folks at TSN right here. J-Money and I also got together awhile ago and conducted a very serious (if by serious, you mean "not serious at all") study of the '86 Jays and posted our findings over at The Sporting News-- but I wanted to share them here as well, for posterity.

The baseball offseason is a long, lonely and chilly period. Baseball fans are forced to obsess over the minutiae of Hot Stove baseball: whether the third-best middle reliever on your team will file for free agency, the theoretical pros and cons of a six-man rotation, how many different teams will diss A-Rod before he goes crawling back to the Yankees.

So when the folks over at The Sporting News approached us with the opportunity to participate in a Strat-O-Matic recreation of the 1986 baseball season (1986: Take Two), we naturally grabbed ahold of that opportunity like a drowning man to a liferaft. We didn't even really care what team we got (there is enough baseball love to go around for just about every team)- so when we were given the Toronto Blue Jays, we were quite tickled. They're so plucky! And so Canadian! And they have RANCE MULLINIKS- with a guy named that on our roster, we were bound to win.

Now we don't have to obsess over that Hot Stove stuff, we can obsess over what Dave Stieb's WHIP was against left-handed batters in June of 1986, or whether we should carry an extra DH or outfielder, or just how many ridiculous trades we can propose to Curt Schilling (who is managing the Red Sox against us in the AL East) before he blocks our email address. And we have a baseball project that will require daily management right up until May- when real-life baseball will be in full swing again (hallelujah). I would disclose how many hours and hours and hours I've spent researching stats and tweaking lineups and reviewing recordbooks... but it's just too frightening.

Our season officially kicked off on November 6th, and we're off to a rousing 11-7 start (we were 2-0 at the time this was originally written -- damn you, Kansas City Royals!) -- and to celebrate, we're doing a run-down of the hotties on the 1986 Blue Jays. There's plenty of time to obsess about numbers and stats... but first, let's examine the shallower assets of our team. So get ready- put on your retro '86 Jays cap (I have one) or jersey (J-Money has that)- because you're about to behold Rance Mulliniks and the rest of the mustachioed Blue Jays in all their glory...

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Back in August, I (along with one of my blogging partners at Ladies..., J-Money) accepted an invitation from The Sporting News to participate in a special project the magazine was putting together: a Strat-O-Matic recreation of the 1986 baseball season, with various sports bloggers managing each of the MLB teams. Basically, the two of us would be given a team to manage throughout the 1986 season- day-by-day, game-by-game, with the players from the 1986 roster, to trade or bench as we chose -- and we'd be going head-to-head against other sports blogger folks.

At the time, we didn't know what team we would be assigned to manage, or who would be managing the other teams -- but with the prospect of a long and empty offseason stretching out over the winter, we jumped at the chance to participate. Hey- it's The Sporting News! You don't say no to The Sporting News. My co-manager J-Money is also a huge Sox fan, and we tend to have similar baseball philosophies, so we were quite thrilled to step back in time and take the reins of a major league ballclub.

It would also give me great joy to rewrite the history books for that particular year, because 1986 was the year of my first sports heartbreak... twice over. I was just a kid, but I can recall clear as day sitting cross-legged on the floor inches away from the TV in my parents' house in Houston watching the Mets dismantle the hometown Astros for the NL pennant (I cried!), and then watching the same hated Mets roll on to devour the Red Sox. 1986 is regarded as one of the best years in baseball, but it's always been the year that broke my heart. So I'm happy to wipe the slate clean and get a do-over.

We found out about a month ago that we'd be managing the Blue Jays. Which is great because (1) the Jays had a very solid team in 1986, one that could definitely compete for the division (remember, this was back when there were only four divisions, and the Tigers, Indians and Brewers (!) were all in the AL East), and (2) the Jays are also a current divisional opponent of the Sox, which adds a nice little twist- we're switching roles, and gunning to take down the Red Sox. Barfield, Bell, Whitt, Fernandez, Henke, Clancy, Key, Steib, Eichhorn- yep, this is going to be fun.

If nothing else, our team knows how to rock a mustache. FEAR THE STACHE.

his name is RANCE MULLINIKS... we win

Imagine my (pleasant) surprise when we were introduced to the other managers involved in the project-- and discovered that not only were we the only females involved, but that there were some real heavy-hitters participating. Including... Will Leitch, Doug Glanville, Dan Shanoff and Curt Schilling. So we're managing the '86 Blue Jays, and we're competing against Curt Schilling's '86 Red Sox. I'm thinking he might know just a tad about the game and how to manage a roster. Just a tad.

My current plan is going to be to bombard Mr. Schilling and the other opponents in our division with a deluge of silly and/or ludicrous trade requests. You know, the old "bury them in a mountain of paperwork" trick. Except instead of paper, they'll be buried in emails. For example: "Hey, Curt- I will trade you Rance Mulliniks for Roger Clemens." With a plan this genius, it is only a matter of time before my fellow AL East managers crumble under the pressure- and then it will be JAYS TIME, BABY.

Opening Day was yesterday- but our Jays had a day off, so our first game is today, against the Rangers. I've got my retro '86 Jays ballcap, the Roger Clemens poster I had on my wall in 1986 (for luck!), and enough stats and research on the '86 season to fill a few binders. We'll see how much good that does me. If nothing else, it's gonna be one hell of a fun time.

I'm accepting any and all roster moves, trade possibilities or other suggestions- because we're going to try our damnedest to beat Schilling and the Red Sox. And please, baseball gods, whatever happens... just don't let the Mets win. Please?

One of the bad things about living in Chicago? You miss victory parades in Boston.

You know what's even worse? You don't get to pick up one of these beauties that they were handing out for free along the parade route. What I wouldn't give...

In which I highlight noteworthy blogs for you to gather reconnaissance on the Red Sox upcoming opponent. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

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