It's tough kicking back off to work after a long holiday weekend - especially one that involves a prolonged carb-loaded feast (and epic food coma that follows). But let's sort through some of the news leftovers that cropped up over the Thanksgiving holiday.

We may have silently been wishing for a 2003-like Thanksgiving, courtesy of Theo and co., but that was not to be. There were no blockbusters, no marquee signings - but that doesn't mean the Sox front office was lolling around in front of the TV, watching the Longhorns kill the Aggies on the football field. On Friday, the Sox did make a trade with the Rangers -- not for Salty or Teagarden, but for RHP Wes Littleton. In exchange, the Sox will send the ever-popular "Player To Be Named Later" (or the even more popular "Cash Considerations"). Wes is a sidearmer, which is always fun to watch - although considering he spent most of the season in AAA, and is out of options, we may not get to see him. The Boston reports on the trade conflicted with those out of Texas - here's what they said:

Here's the bottom line: If Littleton makes the Red Sox opening day roster, the Rangers could potentially get a second player. Littleton is out of options, so if he doesn't make the Red Sox roster, the Rangers would probably just get a little bit of cash.

GM Jon Daniels said the player to be named may not be acquired until close to opening day, so the club isn't commenting on much regarding the deal. I suppose if the Rangers could put together a deal with Boston that sends one of their catchers (Jarrod Saltalamacchia or Taylor Teagarden) to Boston for one of the aforementioned pitching prospects, any future considerations regarding Littleton could be dropped, essentially making him a throw-in to a bigger deal. But I don't expect that.

It appears it's only a matter of time before the Sox (finally) announce the worst-kept secret in Boston: that Junichi Tazawa will be pitching in home whites at Fenway. Taz (yep, I'm calling him Taz) is scheduled to arrive in Boston this week, take a physical, finalize the $3 million deal -- and then announce the acquisition by the end of the week. Considering he's fond of wearing Carhartt jackets, as this picture shows, I think Josh Beckett, Jon Lester and Tim Wakefield will be happy to have him join the crew.

Today marks the last day for teams to offer salary arbitration to their former players who became ranked free agents in order to be eligible for compensation. Which means that the free agent market will be picking up considerably (and just in time for winter meetings). It also means that the Sox must decide by today whether to offer arbitration to Jason Varitek - sewing up two draft picks in compensation if he does not accept, but locking themselves into what will surely be a fairly high contract if he does accept. Players who are offered arbitration have until December 7th to accept or decline.

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The Red Sox official uniforms always seem to remain (largely) unchanged over the years. As trends (teal! purple! aztec prints! funky lettering!) come and go, the Sox unis hold fast

So it would cause a minor ripple if the Red Sox road uniforms are changed in 2009, as this photo posted to Flickr (by wally1912) and discovered by Red Sox Monster seems to suggest might happen.

There's been no news about any possible changes floating around as far as I can find, and the Flickr picture page contains no details about the source of the photo or the probability of that design being adopted, beyond a note that it is a "proposed design for the 2009 Boston Red Sox road uniforms".

By contrast, here is the current road uni:

The new uniform adds red trim along the neckline and button placket seams, and adds a second red trim on the sleeves. Most significantly, though, this uniform reverses the nearly set-in-stone combination of red letters with blue trim, to blue letters with red trim (although, curiously, the player name is left red with blue trim). The photo also shows a possibility of taking away players' last names from the back of the uniforms.

This photo may be a total pipedream, and nothing may ever come of it - but it's fun to contemplate the possibility.

Brad Mills, Sox bench coach, former Tito college roommate and current Papi hug-recipient extraordinaire, is in Seattle today interviewing with the Mariners for the manager slot that's currently empty.

John McLaren, hired by the Mariners in 2007, was fired by the front office back in June of this year - and Seattle's bench coach Jim Riggleman temporarily assumed the helm for the remainder of the 2008 season. Mills is the first of eight candidates to interview for the manager position, and Seattle's new GM Jack Zduriencik (hired just a few weeks ago) is expected to see most - if not all - of the candidates in a revolving door interview process this week.

Tony Gwynn signed on to stay another three years as the head coach of the San Diego State baseball team just yesterday, but he's not spending his time talking about his contract. He wants to talk about Justin Masterson.

After starting his college career at tiny Bethel College in Indiana, Justin transferred to SDSU and pitched for the Aztecs in Tony Gwynn Stadium, under head Aztecs coach Tony Gwynn. And Tony hasn't forgotten Justin.

"He's the type of guy that doesn't want to shake your hand, he wants to give you a hug," Gwynn said. "He's absolutely the same guy, and you can't help but love those type of guys because he really does it the right way. He does it with a great attitude. He does it with a smile on his face. And you know what? He's competitive as heck, but you'd be hard pressed to know that if you met him off the field."

And, of course, HOF'er Tony had praise for Justin's skills as well.

"At the college level, like most guys his size [6-foot-6], he could just overpower hitters. And with his stuff, he was able to do that for the most part. But now he's learned to pitch and it looks like he's trusting his stuff, and it looks like he's having fun. It looks like he's really enjoying himself and really trying to understand how to get guys out, and it looks like he's really paying attention and doing a good job.

"When he was here, I think you could see that he had that kind of stuff where he would be successful at the big-league level, and I think he's just scratching the surface."

"[T]he Red Sox are kind of the perfect club because they have enough of everything, where they can kind of take the time to figure out where exactly he best fits. But I think they found out this year that he fits. Somewhere in those 11, 12 guys he's a guy that definitely will fit into whatever role they want to put him in."

My, how time flies. Seems like just yesterday.

Maybe the tidal wave of rain in the greater Philadelphia area was our chance to hold on to the World Championship for just one more day.

I know I should be overwhelmed with sadness looking at that photo, grieving for the 2008 title that did not arrive... but I just can't do it. I'm giddy as hell with happiness at the two championships in four years (!) and even more giddy at the prospect of what's to come.

Damn, it's an exciting time to be a Red Sox fan.

Have you no feelings, MLB? Is it not enough that we stayed up until the wee hours of the morn on Sunday to watch our team's season end? Are you not satisfied with that? Because I opened my email last night, and found this lovely gem waiting for me:

Note to MLB and StubHub marketing gurus: go through your contact lists, and remove Red Sox fans from an email distribution hawking World Series tickets THE DAY after the Sox are eliminated from the playoffs.

On the positive side, I woke up this morning and had this much happier email waiting for me:

I feel slightly mollified.

If yesterday's press conference is any indication, there is absolutely no doubt that the same old Josh Beckett we know and love is prepping for fun tonight in Tampa. Last year's postseason press conferences offered scintillating looks at the inner workings of Josh's psyche. This year, there's more of the same.

Q: Josh, because of the oblique, have you had to adjust the way you approach pitching at all, or make any changes or do anything differently?

A: Uh... no.

Q: Same guy approaching things the same way?

A: Same.

So even if the Rays are foolishly writing him off, and giving Beckett lovely bulletin board material (Cliff Floyd told the New York Times, "No one cares about Beckett... If anything, Beckett should be worried about us."), here's hoping that vintage Beckett decides to make a reappearance tonight at the Trop.

David Ortiz is concerned for the welfare of the rays.

No, not the Rays - the rays in the outfield tank at Tropicana Field. He heard the news that those poor creatures in the Tampa area were just being fed sox-shaped snacks. He knows that a growing ray needs a steady diet of substance to grow up and be a big ray.

After doing his part to feed the Rays with some big bombs at Fenway, Papi is also doing his part to feed the rays with some bombs as well.

While [Papi] was taking batting practice, he crushed a ball to deep right-center field, some 430 feet from home plate and deposited a ball into the fish tank with live Rays in it.

He put his arms in the air and screamed "I just killed a Ray."

If you're not reading Soxaholix, you really should be. Yesterday, Doug and Mike had an excellent take on the all-encompassing hate-on for the Red Sox (and their fans) that is all the rage lately. Namely: bring on that hate, 'cause it means the Sox are winning.

As Doug says (slightly paraphrased):

I'd rather a billion people hate us for being winners than one person pity us for being losers.

In every field of human endeavor, he that is first must perpetually live in the white light of publicity.

Whether the leadership be vested in a man or in a manufactured product, emulation and envy are ever at work. In art, in literature, in music, in industry, the reward and the punishment are always the same. The reward is widespread recognition; the punishment, fierce denial and detraction.

When a man's work becomes a standard for the whole world, it also becomes a target for the shafts of the envious few. If his work be merely mediocre, he will be left severely alone - if he achieve a masterpiece, it will set a million tongues a-wagging. Jealousy does not protrude its forked tongue at the artist who produces a commonplace painting.

The leader is assailed because he is the leader, and the effort to equal him is merely added proof of that leadership. Failing to equal or to excel, the follower seeks to depreciate and to destroy - but only confirms once more the superiority of that which he strives to supplant. There is nothing new in this. It is as old as the world and as old as the human passions - envy, fear, greed, ambition, and the desire to surpass. And it all avails nothing. If the leader truly leads, he remains - the leader.

That which is good or great makes itself known, no matter how loud the clamor of denial.

Even the Florida Aquarium is getting in on the baseball rivalry business these days.

Per Tampa Bay Online:

With the Boston Red Sox in town for the beginning of the American League Championship Series, many are making predictions.

In a not-so-sceintific experiment, the keepers of the rays at the aquarium are hoping to come up with an educated guess as well.

Little Red Sox-shaped snacks are being fed to the aquarium rays this afternoon, and if the rays take the bait, well, there you have it.

And speaking of ponies...

Boston Sports Media Watch posted yesterday on an interesting observation from Wednesday night's game broadcast on TBS- Chip Carey referring to Dustin Pedroia's nickname as being "Caballito".

Of course, no one around here can remember anyone ever referring to Pedroia as "Caballito," so it has been speculated that someone pulled a fast one on Carey during his preparation for the game, perhaps a Red Sox player, or that maybe even this was an "Anchorman" moment, where Carey was just fed something and he repeated it.

According to Caray's broadcast partner, Buck Martinez, slugger David Ortiz told him earlier this year that the team's Latin players bestowed the nickname on Pedroia for reasons beyond his size.

"David Ortiz told me that specifically," Martinez said yesterday from his hotel in Anaheim. "He said we call him the little pony because he's got spirit and heart and all of that. He thinks he can do everything. David told me he always tries to beat him to the ballpark and he could never do it. Every time he got there, Pedroia had already eaten breakfast, worked out, read the newspaper, played cards, and was ready to play.

"I love the kid," Martinez added. "He's the epitome of a baseball player. He doesn't take a backseat to anybody. He's a marvelously spirited kid and a hell of a ballplayer. Caballito."

But Buck Martinez isn't going to even consider the possibility that he was duped:

Pedroia seemed extremely good natured about it, whether or not it's true. For his part, Martinez did not believe Ortiz had lied to him.

"Pedroia's a horse, there's no question about that," Martinez said. "We take a lot of pride in the way we present games. We want to tell the fans something they don't know about their hometown team and we did that last night."

And two: well isn't someone awfully full of themself? "We want to tell the fans something they don't know about their hometown team and we did that last night." Doesn't the smarm and arrogance just ooze off the page with that quote?

Edit: because commenter Liza is a genius.

Even though the article retreads (again) for the thousandth time the old "Dustin Pedroia sure is short! But he's a grinder!" storyline, it contains possibly the greatest lead-in story ever:

The boy was barely out of diapers when he discovered a tiny wooden bat and started swinging at everything that moved: tennis balls, ping-pong balls, balls of tinfoil.

Then came a baby goose.

By the time Debbie Pedroia rushed to the scene, it was too late. The family's new pet had bobbed its fuzzy head into her 18-month-old son's strike zone, and baby Dustin had swung the little bat as if his life depended on it.

Goodbye, goose.

And this tidbit:

"He really believes he's Babe Ruth," [Jay] Sferra, [Arizona State recruiter] said.

Yet even Pedroia's parents were stunned during their son's first team meeting with [Pat] Murphy, [Arizona State head coach]. As the coach reminded the players that no individual was more important than the team, Pedroia interrupted.

"I got to be honest, coach," he said. "You're going to win a lot more games with me than without me."

As a child, Dustin believed he could beat his tough-talking grandfather, Bo Pedroia, at cribbage. Long before Dustin trash-talked his way into a running cribbage duel with Francona, he was wisecracking with Grandpa Bo. Or skirmishing with Brett under their basketball hoop. Or picking apart opponents at ping-pong.

Pedroia's ping-pong victims include Cleveland Browns quarterback Brady Quinn, whom Pedroia baited into a match last year at the Athletes' Performance Institute in Arizona. Never mind that Quinn, a rugged 6-foot-3 and 235 pounds, towered over him.

"You want a piece of me, meat?" Pedroia said.

Ethier, who witnessed the scene, said, "Dustin was talking smack to him the whole time, talking about how he would sack Brady and put him on his back. Dustin absolutely destroyed him, and Brady couldn't stand losing to someone who is 5-foot-something. It was pretty incredible."

Even as they're shutting off the lights at (the non-original) Yankee Stadium, New York apparently can't get enough of Josh Beckett.

Universal Hub's Adam Gaffin snapped this photo of a giant billboard for postseason baseball in Times Square - which prominently features the apple of New York's eye, David Wright, and the spurs on Boston's boots, Josh Beckett. Reportedly, neither Saint Derek Jeter nor Devil Incarnate Alex Rodriguez were anywhere to be found - possibly because NYC realizes their best shot at getting a team in the postseason comes from Queens (not the Bronx).

Mr. Times Square will take on Cleveland's Zach Jackson tonight at Fenway, hoping to lock down the Red Sox playoff berth. Maybe if they clinch, Josh will crack a smile.

Meet Christopher R. Sciesinski.

Christopher is a 33 year old bald dude from Sarasota, Florida. And also a dude who happened to get tased by the Rays security- despite the fact that NESN (and FoxSports) didn't show a lick of the fight and tasefest on TV. Unfortunately, Christopher is also a Red Sox fan.

From the St. Pete Times:

Christopher Sciesinski, 33, of Sarasota was arrested on a disorderly conduct charge Wednesday night after he tried to jump over the Rays dugout onto the field, said Sgt. Karl Lounge of the St. Petersburg Police. Security staff and police had received complaints about Sciesinski earlier in the game. Officer Patrick McGovern pulled out a Taser gun, Lounge said.

When Sciesinski was apprehended on the top of the Rays dugout, the game stopped - and both the Rays and Red Sox took notice.

"He got tattooed," Red Sox slugger David Ortiz said. "Holy god, that was a big dude, man. He had a lot of policemen all over him.

If David "Big Papi" Ortiz, he of the 6'4" 240lb body, calls you a big dude... you are a BIG DUDE.

Let's also take a look at Christopher's booking sheet, shall we? Ah - it appears our friendly Sox brawler/taser target likes the ink.

You had me at "2 scorpions w/ record players and skull", Christopher. The "naked women, trees, eye, scales" tattoo on the other arm is just a bonus!

First person to make a "Don't tase me, bro!" joke gets sent to their room with no dinner for overusing an obvious and cliched joke.

The 2008 season hasn't even wrapped up yet - there's still loads of September ball to played, not to mention the crucial month of October - but that doesn't stop the Red Sox front office from gearing up for 2009: the 2009 schedule has been released. The fabulous news is that the Sox will have a true Opening Day next season, because they will play their first game at home in Fenway Park (for the first time since '02).

And who do I spy as the Opening Day foe to square off against the Sox? Why, it's our chums the Tampa Bay Devil Rays!

But just to make sure the Red Sox aren't pining for the opening weeks of 2008 too much, the MLB schedulers have kindly arranged to whisk them away to the west coast right after that opening series for consecutive Cali matchups against the Angels and A's. We all love those west coast swings!

Other highlights:

* May 4th will be the first game in new Yankee Stadium.
* No Yankees visit in September - last matchup at Fenway in August.
* Patriot's Day matchup will be with the Orioles.
* Interleague play at home: Mets, Marlins, Braves
* Interleague play on the road: Phillies, Nationals, Braves
* Sox will close the season at home against the Indians.

Here's the full schedule, courtesy of ProJo.

The folks of Boston may owe a ballclub in Bend, Oregon a huge debt of thanks for the presence of a certain fleet-of-foot outfielder rookie on the roster.

As Alex Speier pointed out, Jacoby Ellsbury could very well have been in the home whites of Tampa for this series-- instead of the Boston greys. Jacoby was originally drafted by the (then Devil) Rays during the 23rd round of the 2002 draft (674th overall pick), when he was just freshly out of high school. Per Alex, "Tampa was aggressive in trying to convince Ellsbury to sign, offering him a well-above slot bonus that one N.L. scout recalled as being around $100,000."

"I was really close to signing. I could have been a Ray. I was right on the fence, teeter-tottering about whether to sign or not," Ellsbury recalled last week. "It wasn't necessarily the money. It was pretty good money. It was just getting a college education then. I wanted the college experience at the right age. I wanted to be a freshman when everyone else was a freshman. I waited it out for over a month. Any of those days I could have signed."

So what helped him make up his mind? According to Jacoby, his time spent playing for the Bend Elks baseball team (part of the West Coast Collegiate Baseball League, a summer collegiate wooden bat league) that summer of '02 before college may have helped him decide to head to OSU.

"If I didn't play in Bend, who knows what would have happened?" Ellsbury said Sunday. "I think playing for the Elks definitely swayed my decision to go to Oregon State."

Several members of the 2002 Bend Elks also played for Oregon State, and they helped Ellsbury in his decision.

"I met a lot of guys on the team, and they convinced me of how great a program it was," Ellsbury said of Oregon State.

Congratulations to Jason Bay and his wife Kristen on the birth of their second child.

Evelyn Jane Bay was born at 6:47 pm this evening in Boston - and Jason made it back to town from Tampa with just 45 minutes to spare. The plan was to induce labor on Thursday, when the Sox had an offday. But little baby Evelyn apparently had other plans.

Jason and Kristen have one other daughter, Addison.

As you might have heard (not that NESN didn't beat us about the head with the news or anything), last night's sellout at Fenway marked the 456th consecutive home sellout for the Red Sox - breaking the major league record for consecutive sellouts. That record would probably have been broken long ago if they counted the sellouts at Camden and the Trop when the Sox were in town.

And since no one throws a celebration like the Red Sox, they invaded the print media and the airwaves to throw a party in honor of the record. Full-page thank you ads appeared in the Globe and Herald- naming 456 reasons to say thank you.

A whole host of current players are namechecked in the ads - including oldtimers and newcomers alike: Kevin Youkilis, Jason Bay, David Ortiz, Jacoby Ellsbury, Josh Beckett (albeit misspelled as "Becket"), Tim Wakefield, Jonathan Papelbon, JD Drew, Mike Lowell, bullpen pirates, Hideki Okajima, Paul Byrd, Justin Masterson, Curt Schilling, Jon Lester & Daisuke Matsuzaka. It is also definitely worth it to read through the entire list of 456.

And in addition to the print ads, the Red Sox owners and players filmed this thank you TV spot as well - and of course found time to fit in some silliness (I'm looking at you, Pedroia).

The Red Sox are coming home going to the promised land.

Of course I'm talking about TEXAS. A place so magical, it can bring not one (Mike Lowell), not two (Sean Casey)... but three guys off the DL. Josh Beckett will not stand for a series in the Lone Star State that he is not allowed to be a part of.

I have a feeling that if it were allowed by MLB, Josh would use this opportunity tonight to stride out to the mound wearing Red Wings, a cowboy hat, and a huge belt buckle that reads "EXECUTE FUCKING PITCHES" -- along with some kind of dead animal carcass slung around his neck.

As it is, he will just have to content himself with the ubiquitous silver sunglasses and his patented "I am bored with you now, go away" look.

I almost don't even want to mention it. Like it's a mirage that will fade away once it's spoken about. That the hushed (and not-so-hushed) conversations all around New England will somehow jinx it.

Of course, I'm talking about the magic of Dustin "Pleats In Cleats" Pedroia.

Tito Francona loves him.

"Wherever he hits, he does a good job," said Francona. "That was a quick move tonight with Youkilis. We were literally just ahead of the anthem and he's down in the cage when his back tightened up, so we get (Jeff) Bailey in there and put Pedey in the four-hole. He just continues to get hits."

"I told him that I'm going to paint an 'S' on his chest," Sox outfielder Mark Kotsay said. And based on what he has seen, Kotsay would give Pedroia the MVP. "It's funny," Kotsay said. "You've got Ortiz, big burly lefthander. Then you see Pedroia stepping in ... he's got no fear."

"This guy in my opinion is the MVP of the league," Paul Byrd said. "He's unbelievable. I didn't know he was that good when I came over here. The guy plays hard, he dives, he plays great defense. I feel like I've got two guys playing second base. "He gets the big hit when it counts. (He is a) clutch player. I just can't say enough about him. As he goes, we go."

"I think it's well deserved, I think he can win it," Baltimore first baseman Kevin Millar said of the MVP possibility. "I think he's a hell of a ballplayer. He plays bigger than he is. He plays Gold Glove defense. He does everything you can ask anyone to do on the baseball field."

Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen went on and on about the Red Sox second baseman, saying: "I'm a big fan. I love the way he plays. If 90 percent of the players played the way he does, I would pay for a ticket to watch baseball. The way he plays, this kid, that's the way people should be playing every day."

"I think he is the heart and soul of the Boston Red Sox...Pedroia is the guy that makes this team go. I don't think there's any question about that," said Dave Trembley, the Orioles manager. "If you stop Pedroia, you've got a chance to beat them. To me, all the other guys are supporting cast. That's no disrespect to any of them. They've got great players--Ortiz, Youkilis. But Pedroia's the main guy."

Trembley noted a couple of elements that are easily overlooked in singing Pedroia's praises. The Baltimore skipper raved about both the player's on-field pre-game routine and his weight-room commitment in explaining why the 25-year-old is such a beloved figure of opposing managers.

"The guy's out here at 2 o'clock in the darn afternoon every time we play them, working with (first-base and infield coach Luis) Alicea on his pivot. The guy's not there by chance. He's worked at it," said Trembley. "Look at the way he looks. You see him the first year he was here? You see him now? The guy's in incredible shape. He worked his butt off in the winter."

All hail the mighty Pleats!
M-V-P! M-V-P! M-V-P!

If you thought the "grinder" "gritty" "gamer" comparisons between two short, white dudes (the calling card of lazy reporting) began and ended with David Eckstein and Dustin Pedroia, you were wrong. So very wrong.

It seems that the Boston media has discovered a new short* white gamer/gritty/grinder infielder to compare to David Eckstein: Jed Lowrie.

And, of course, even the article's title comes with a "short" pun:

Jed Lowrie's impact no small factor for Red Sox

David Eckstein knows exactly what Jed Lowrie is feeling right now.

They're both converted second baseman playing major league shortstop. They both worked their way up through the ranks of the Red Sox system, though Eckstein eventually became a standout with the Angels.

And now they both know what it's like to hit a game-winning home run.

Sportswriters must get so psyched when the Blue Jays come to town. Automatic built-in Eckstein comparisons... wheeeeee!

* Yes, I know - Jed Lowrie is nowhere near as short as Mighty Mouse Pedroia. But apparently he's short-ish enough to draw Eckstein comparisons.

Rob Bradford is doing a fantastic job running the show over at the all-new WEEI.com (he brought Deadspin pal Will Leitch on board - and the awesome Alex Speier). And he's reporting that Clay Buchholz and pitching coach John Farrell may have unlocked what's been going sour with Clay's pitching:

What they uncovered was that Buchholz was drifting forward upon beginning his approach to the plate with runners on base, causing problems with the location of his pitches.

"It's more like a drift in my delivery," Buchholz explained. "When I'm in the windup I'm fine, but when I'm in the stretch, I go to my balance point, I pick my leg up and I'm already going forward. It's not allowing me to get the ball out of my glove and really be on top.

"We did one side by side where I waited back and threw a pitch and one where I didn't wait back. In one frame you can see the difference where my upper body is at and where my lower body is at, the right way, and in the other one it's all out of whack. Fastballs when I stay back and let myself to get on top of it its for the most part where I want to throw it, and when I don't that's when the ball tails back over the middle."

Compare Clay's release points versus the Yankees on April 11th (6.0 IP/1 ER) and the Rangers on April 21st (6.0 IP/0 ER):

Contrasted with his release points versus the Angels on July 29th (6.1 IP/6 ER) and the White Sox on August 10th (3.0 IP/5 ER):

Everyone assumed Mike Lowell strained his right oblique muscle during an at-bat against the Rangers in the seventh inning on Tuesday- landing him on the 15-day DL. But Center Field can exclusively reveal* that Mikey LoLo actually injured himself outside the four walls of the ballpark.

In a city administration scandal the likes of which haven't been seen since Tammany Hall and Boss Tweed, Mike Lowell has found himself embroiled in a parking ticket brouhaha.

This is damning evidence that the Boston PD are flagrantly and wantonly ticketing cars that are legally parked. Mike Lowell had seven minutes left on the meter! This is a sad commentary on the state of society, and an injustice that could not go unanswered. Mike had no choice but to take it upon himself to go after those heartless ticketing monsters.

Mike may have put on a brave front to make it seem as though he strained his muscle at the plate, but in reality I think we all know the truth: Mike Lowell hurt himself when he went all Batman, delivering a series of roundhouse kicks and right hooks to the parking ticket hooligans.

* This is, of course, entirely made up. Except the part about the parking ticket- that part is true.

So ESPN the Magazine (and online) posted a fabulous article about Dustin Pedroia. (Yes, I realize this issue came out a week ago- but my issue, and all my other mail, was lost in the USPS forwarding black hole. So I just got it today- let's pretend it's brand new, shall we?)

Like any good Pleats profile, it is chock-full of awesome quotes. For example:

This is just one of 162. Every day is pretty much the same. It's not quite 4 o'clock, three hours before the first pitch at Fenway Park, and Dustin Pedroia is in the Red Sox dugout, ranting. "No one's going to separate us," he says to backup catcher Kevin Cash. "I'm telling you, when we win the World Series, I'll high-five everyone, but then you and me are going into the outfield, and we're going to have a fistfight. And no one's going to separate us!"

Although Pedroia keeps a straight face, Kevin Youkilis and Jason Varitek cannot. Cash just looks straight ahead and with a slight smile says, "That's fine by me, man."

Now Pedroia hops up the dugout steps and shouts in Millar's direction: "Hey, 2004 was like 20 years ago! And all you did was walk! Mariano let four fly! It was not, like, some 12-pitch at-bat!" Pedroia imitates Millar's stance in that critical Game 4 moment against the Yankees, with the Red Sox three outs away from elimination. He mimics the way Millar steps in the bucket. He does it four times. "Ball 1, Ball 2, Ball 3, Ball 4," he says. "That's all you did." Millar isn't even paying attention.

A little while later, when Orioles second baseman Brian Roberts appears, Pedroia pounds his own chest and shouts, "The strongest 160-pound player in the league, right here!" Roberts swats at the air like he's trying to shoo away a gnat as Pedroia repeats, "Right here!"

"Yeah, he's one of a kind," Roberts says. "He and I work out at the same place in Arizona in the off-season, and I've seen him call out NFL players during Ping-Pong games, asking them when they're starting Jenny Craig. He told Brady Quinn, who is a monster, a physical specimen, 'I'm going to rip this ball right off your throat.' He's a piece of work."

Figures- the one time I am pictured on ESPN, I'm turned away from the camera. I think everyone in the section was watching a very-pregnant Mrs. Theo Epstein waddle past us and onto the field.

The lovely and talented girl next to me is none other than fellow Soxmaniac J-Money, who was my brawling buddy in Cleveland for the ALCS games, and then my celebrating buddy in Denver for the World Series games. As usual, she's got a hilarious take on the situation at her place.

What, you're surprised CHB might have caused a scandal with a premature report impugning Manny Ramirez? No? Neither am I.

From the Los Angeles Times, a paper that, you know, talked to Bud Selig's office on the record:

The baseball commissioner's office has not launched a formal investigation into the circumstances surrounding the Manny Ramirez trade and does not plan to take action against any party in the deal, his spokesman said today.

The Boston Globe reported in today's editions that Commissioner Bud Selig had ordered an investigation into "the circumstances of Manny's final hours with the Red Sox."

Pat Courtney, the spokesman for Selig, said the commissioner had asked for clarification on several issues involving the trade and did not order a formal inquiry into the matter.

"There were some follow-up calls," Courtney said. "It's closed. It's not ongoing."

Update: THE PLOT THICKENS. That LA Times article has now been revised, as it turns out the MLB spokesperson may have spoken out of turn.

The Dodgers are in no jeopardy of losing Manny Ramirez, but the baseball commissioner's office is reviewing issues surrounding the trade that brought him to Los Angeles.

Commissioner Bud Selig has asked Rob Manfred, baseball's executive vice president for labor relations, to determine the facts behind Ramirez's departure from Boston, a baseball source said today, speaking on condition of anonymity because the matter had not been resolved.

Baseball spokesman Pat Courtney told The Times earlier today that Selig had asked for clarification on several issues but said no action was planned against any party in the deal.

"There were some follow-up calls," Courtney said. "It's closed. It's not ongoing."

Courtney later said his comments were premature and deferred further questions on the matter to Rich Levin, another baseball spokesman. Levin said this afternoon he had no comment.

I don't know whether you've heard or not, but there appears to be a bit of a freak-out in progress over one Manuel Aristides Ramirez.

Predictably, CHB has shared his rational, well-reasoned and not-at-all-biased thoughts on the issue (not just once, but twice). And, naturally, WEEI is conducting a solemn and dignified discussion on the matter. The staid Herald is, of course, loathe to contribute to the maelstrom. The New York media is definitely not going to fan the flames. And a very small number of Red Sox blogs have pontificated on the subject as well, but just a few.... you know, like: here, here, here, here, here (and then here), here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here (and on and on and on).

It's official. Everyone's worked themselves up into a tizzy.

We've got ourselves a honest-to-goodness, old-fashioned, crazy-ass tizzy fit going on! Screaming and crying and wailing and rending of garments and teeth gnashing. Loud noises! Dogs and cats, living together... mass hysteria!

This is gearing up to be a tizzy of epic proportions. A tizzy which we haven't seen the likes of since... well, last week with Brett Favre. So it seems only natural that Tirico Suave has come up with the perfect solution for the massive tizzy:

It's so crazy, it just might work.

Portfolio Magazine gives us their take on the Manny trevails over the past few months... err, years. Despite the fact it's got unsubstantiated quotes from unnamed member of the "Red Sox heirarchy" (Wally? is that you?) and is recycling false information (are we seriously still reporting the called 3rd-strike out was an intentional middle finger? seriously?), the article does contain one helluva new "Manny being Manny" story.

I once asked a prominent relief pitcher to describe the most idiotic thing he had witnessed in the big leagues. "That's easy," he said, and launched into the story of a former teammate--an All-Star outfielder--who refused to use toilet paper. A clubhouse attendant supplied the player with a daily ration of hand towels, which, when soiled, would be flushed.

One afternoon the reliever came in from batting practice to find the locker room awash in frantic maintenance workers. When he asked a plumber what all the fuss was about, he was told that a washcloth-clogged toilet had overflowed and was threatening to submerge the bathroom stalls. "Of all the dumb stuff I've seen that particular outfielder do," the stopper told me, "that was the dumbest."

That particular outfielder was, of course, Manny Ramirez.

Anyone?

Hat tip: Deadspin, and PeteJayhawk for the post title.

At Bus Leagues Baseball, Extra P. and OMDQ spend baseball season trying to keep up with MLB's murky substrata - the minor leagues. As a birthday gift to Center Field, the guys decided to delve into the world of Sox prospects past and present.

Yesterday, OMDQ took a look at the Top 100 Sox prospects of all time. Today, Extra P. delves into the current Top 10(ish) Red Sox Prospects. In addition to talking stats and numbers, he was also kind enough to evaluate each of the guys' future prospects as Baseball Boyfriend material. Bless him!

Like my colleague before me, I am going to rely on Baseball America's prospect rankings for the basis of my projections. In fact, if the good folks at Baseball America would like to just go ahead and hire us, we could cut out the middle man, which I believe would reduce the exorbitant cost of gasoline. Somehow.

Anyway, here's the list, with one crucial addition from me, using my incredible powers of hindsight:

1. Clay Buchholz, RHP
2. Jacoby Ellsbury, OF
3. Lars Anderson, 1B
4. Justin Masterson, RHP
5. Jed Lowrie, SS
6. Ryan Kalish, OF
7. Michael Bowden, RHP
8. Nick Hagadone, LHP
9. Oscar Tejeda, SS
10. Josh Reddick, OF
10a. Che-Hsuan Lin, OF

Let's get started.

Clay Buchholz - RHP, Boston Red Sox
If a guy's thrown a no-hitter in the bigs, is it accurate to still call him a prospect? Clay joined the Sox organization out of Angelina College as the 42nd overall pick in the 2005 first-year draft, which is the sort of thing that can only happen in professional baseball.

His career path followed the classic pyramid look, with single As on the top, sitting on the shoulders of double As and a nice fat triple-A in 2007, the same year the then-22-year-old was called up, earning a 3-1 record with a 1.59 ERA. And apparently he had this one really good game in September. Whatever.

Baseball America Superlatives: Best Curveball, Best Changeup

2008 Stats:
Pawtucket Red Sox: 4W - 2L - 2.47 ERA - 17BB - 43K
Boston Red Sox: 2W - 5L - 5.88 ERA - 27BB - 51K

Clay is on a three-game losing streak, so this is a prime test of the team's commitment to him. Will he be sent back to Pawtucket, or work out his problems in Boston?

Baseball Boyfriend potential: Clay ain't a pretty boy, but he is from Texas, and may have another gem in him. I give him a 50-50 shot.

Continue reading »

I told you Geoff Baker had an awesome blog - and now thanks to Geoff, we get this gem:

Seems that Boston slugger Manny Ramirez was leaving the ballpark, with headphones on trying to look inconspicuous and quickly get away from the crowds still leaving the stadium. He started to cross South Royal Brougham Way, against the signals of a traffic cop who was directing pedestrians. The police officer demanded that Ramirez open his wallet and show identification. He warned him that he could face a $500 fine and possible arrest for disobeying a police officer.

It became clear to those watching that the policeman had no idea who Ramirez was. He didn't ask for an autograph or anything, but did ask Ramirez if he'd attended the game. After the brief lecture, and no argument from Ramirez, the police officer let him go with no further trouble.

Which reminds of the time the tables were turned, and it was Manny Ramirez who sailed past the authority figure outside the Jake in Cleveland... and Jerry Remy and Don Orsillo were left standing outside the clubhouse entrance, like rejected groupies.

That is a crime. Anyone who denies entry to Remy and Orsillo should be forced to walk the plank by the bullpen pirates.

At Bus Leagues Baseball, Extra P. and OMDQ spend baseball season trying to keep up with MLB's murky substrata - the minor leagues. As a birthday gift to Center Field, the guys decided to delve into the world of Sox prospects past and present.

First up, New Englander OMDQ goes all nostalgic on us, reliving his memories with the help of the Baseball America All-Time Top 100 Sox Prospects list. Tomorrow, Extra P. will examine the current crop that's still down on the farm.

Kevin Morton, LHP (1990: #61)
Believe it or not, I still remember Kevin Morton, seventeen years after he first appeared in a Red Sox uniform. Baseball-Reference.com helps out with the dates and details, but I already knew that Morton's story was one of instant promise: in his Major League debut, he shut down the mighty Detroit Tigers (actually 1991 record: 84-78) with a complete game five-hitter. Just a month before his 23rd birthday, he allowed only one run, a homerun to Cecil Fielder leading off the seventh inning, and struck out nine.

Morton stuck with the Sox for the second half of the 1991 season, posting a 6-5 record and 4.59 ERA, but it was his only major league experience. He played for four different organizations over the next four seasons, compiling an 11-33 record in the minors before hangin' em up.

Eric Wedge, C, Red Sox (1990: #63)
Affectionately known as "Wedgie" to my wife, who could barely believe her eyes when she saw him in the Cleveland Indians dugout last year.

Scott Cooper, 3B, Red Sox (1990: #68; 1992: #86)
Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to one of the reasons the Red Sox deemed Jeff Bagwell expendable in 1990. The team had Wade Boggs in the majors at the time, with Cooper virtually ready at Pawtucket. Who cares if we trade our AA third baseman to Houston for half a season of middle relief help? Damn you, Lou Gorman.

Sure, you can argue that Cooper later appeared in a couple of All-Star Games for the Sox. But that would be dumb, especially since Bagwell's OPS+ in the year of Cooper's second All-Star appearance, 1994, was 213. Damn you, Lou Gorman.

Maurice Vaughn, 1B, Red Sox (1990: #76; 1991: #10)
Like Morton, I can also remember hearing about Mo Vaughn before he was known as Mo Vaughn. There is a very clear memory in my mind of Joe Castiglione talking about "Maurice Vaughn, who has twenty homeruns at Pawtucket" sometime in 1990. He looked pretty bad during an extended look in the majors in 1991 and started to hear whispers of "bust" when he homered 13 times in 355 at-bats the following season, but put everything together in 1993 and went on to enjoy a number of productive seasons in Boston, including an MVP in 1995.

Continue reading »

ESPN has developed a serious man-crush on Dustin "Pleats" Pedroia.

In a single day, the network alternately aired a puff piece montage all about him, posted an article fawning over him, and then sent Joe "Don't Call Me VORP" Morgan to talk with him about playing second base. It seems they have succumbed to his many, many charms. I'm not exactly sure what those charms might be, but if you just ask Dustin, he will most certainly be sure to tell you.

First up, the video of the Peter Gammons-narrated montage, aired before yesterday's game against the Angels. Gammons says that Pedroia "looks like a little stuffed toy from FAO Schwarz" - which is both true and awesome. (And Gammons should know-- he's definitely got that Lord Of The Rings hobbit action-figure vibe going.)

Red Sox marketing folks alert: if you made a Pedey Bear, I would totally buy one. Of course, each Pedey Bear must come with a dirty uniform, a wad of chew in its cheek, a bald patch, and when you press its paw, it says, "FUCK YEAH!" Also, it likes to play cribbage with Tito Bear.

Next, Peter Pascarelli f-loves him some Pedroia:

After just a season and a half, Pedroia seems like he's been in Boston forever. On a team of considerable age that is yet becoming younger, Pedroia has all the look of becoming a Derek Jeter-like leader for the next generation of Red Sox. Pedroia doesn't have Jeter's natural ability and grace, but he uses dogged intensity and his love of the game to do the same thing Jeter has done for more than a decade in New York -- be a daily role model for how a Yankee is supposed to play.

"He's amazing, really," Angels manager Mike Scioscia said.

"People always talk about Pedroia being so scrappy and so good fundamentally and how he gets so much out of his ability, as if he's some kind of overachiever. And all that is true in some ways. But the fact is that this guy is a very good hitter. Nearly every ball he hits is hit hard. And he gets to fastballs that few guys in the majors can turn around."

And in the "Not At All Awkward Interview With A Guy Who Doesn't Really Care Very Much About Baseball" category...

Two thoughts:

1. Joe Morgan is really short.

2. "They don't really come after us like they did wh... a couple of years back." Dustin was absolutely going to say, "when you used to play" -- and then decided not to make Joe Morgan feel old. How sweet.

Nike's just about to unleash their new ad campaign on the world. Entitled "Courage", the video spot features quick shots of a wide variety of professional and Olympic athletes set against the sounds of the Killers song "All These Things That I've Done". And alongside all-time greats like Michael Jordan, Lance Armstrong, Arthur Ashe, Carl Lewis, Mary Lou Retton and John McEnroe, the Red Sox own Jon Lester makes an appearance.

The accompanying Nike website says of Jon:

On August 31, 2006 , doctors discovered Jon Lester had enlarged lymph nodes, and a few days later he was diagnosed with anaplastic large cell lymphoma. On October 27, 2007, Lester clinched the World Series for the Boston Red Sox. On May 19, 2008, he threw his first career no-hitter.

Hacks With Haggs has an interesting Q&A up that he did with Julio Lugo a short time ago, before Lugo landed himself on the DL. It's a great introspective look by Julio back at his early days of baseball - and even more interesting, it's got some great tidbits about Manny Ramirez.

Did you ever, as a kid, watch Manny play when he was with the Indians?

JL: I never went to Yankee Stadium, but I went to go watch him play at Double-A and he was with the Indians and he hit a home run to straightaway centerfield. The crowd starting going crazy. I remember that, and I still have the bats at my house.

One day when I was in the minor leagues I went to go watch Manny play in spring training, and I saw him before the game. I went 'Oh Manny...how are you' and he was like 'Oh...how are you.' We didn't really know each other well, but he told me he was going to give me some bats after the game. And I told all my friends. I was like 'Oh [ex